Family Burnout Recovery Plan || How our shift from survival to FUN changed our family culture and relationships

Are you tired of the never-ending cycle of stress and burnout in your family life? In this episode, I share our family's journey from being overwhelmed and stressed to reclaiming joy and connection through our Family Burnout Recovery Plan.

After realizing that simply changing our location wasn't enough to alleviate our constant stress, my husband Brad and I decided to make intentional fun a priority for our family. We dubbed 2022 our 'Year of Fun,' and focused on creating meaningful, enjoyable experiences together. Join us as we reflect on the challenges we faced, the strategies we implemented, and the significant positive changes that resulted in our family life.

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TRANSCRIPT

 

Brad Packer: [00:00:00] we always looked ahead to that as like, Hey, when we finally get in our home, that's when we're gonna have finally enough space for our family, big enough yard for our family.

We're finally gonna be able to just like live free and be ourselves. And then the end of last year, we moved into home and we found that we still were having the, the, the same

Monica Packer: constant stress,

Brad Packer: the the same stress and the same problems. And we, and it was almost like, Hey, like this isn't what we signed up for.

This isn't what we were planning on getting. When we realized, oh my goodness, like the getting caught up in the routines remains, even though we're in this, we're in this home. And we always saw that as the point when things would end. And so we almost realized like, we need to make a change to have fun.

It's not a matter of just changing locations, it's, we need to do something different.

Monica Packer: Hi, I'm Monica Packer and you're listening to About Progress where we are about progress made practical.

Three years ago at this time, we were almost half a year [00:01:00] into seeking some big changes to our family. You see, it had been a stressful few years and we were all feeling quite burnt out from the pandemic to moving out of state, to homeschooling, to helping our special needs kids and renovating a home.

It was a lot, and I know it wasn't just us. we kind of had this misconception that once we finally moved into our house, things would get a lot easier, and we did, but things did not get easier, and that's when Brad and I realized that something had to change and

in order for us to shift away from survival as a family, we had to shift towards something else that, at first glance seemed quite superficial and maybe irresponsible, and that was to prioritize fun.

2022 was sort of our year of fun. We were where we intentionally sought out to have more fun as a family and in the process to shift our family [00:02:00] culture. Now, three years later, I am so proud of how far we've come. There's of course still work to be done, and right now that work includes revisiting some things and tweaking others and coming up with new ideas altogether.

So the summer is bringing that up for us, how can we again come back home to this fun because we know the power that the fun created in our lives to heal our relationships.

Right now, maybe you are in a similar space of being in a longstanding survival mode as a family and you are ready to leave the burnout behind and lean into doing something different. If so, can I encourage you to prioritize fun? Doing so for us was of course super healing and it's still something that we are trying to as we lean into the summer months to help you do that.

I am revisiting a conversation. I aired with Brad from this time, late May, 2022, you will hear our honest conversation on what we needed to change as a [00:03:00] family and why we got to that point, as well as our strategies on what we were trying to do and what was already working as we focus on fun as a family, and this is all shared not as a prescription on what you need to do, but more as an example of how you can do the same for you and your household.

That's all next, but be sure to stay tuned until the end where I will give more and updated ideas and a resource to help you craft a summer that will help you focus in on fun or creativity or connection or joy. Anything that your family needs to heal from the burnout you may be going through.

That's all coming up after a quick word from our sponsors.

I tend to get my best ideas while I'm driving around in the passenger seat of our car. And January 1st of this year was no different. We were driving around town as a family, just trying to get out of the house. Pretty sure it was a Sunday, right? Yep. I have my companion here already [00:04:00] nodding, but yes, it was a Sunday.

We were driving around and I get to just sit and think in the passenger seat and that's when I had an aha. We needed to have more fun. In fact, I thought we should call our year the year of fun, YF for short. Now I wanna back up a little bit, and even before I tell you more about what YF is, how you can create your own, I wanna tell you the deeper reasoning behind why we needed to have more fun.

And it's pretty simple actually. Our family needed a dramatic overhaul of our family culture. So to help explain this and to share what we've been up to and how it's working, the ups and downs, I invited my husband, Brad, on the show for us to have a more conversational style episode today. And this is not to be a giant humble brag because it's not like we're writing off into the sunset as a family, but this episode is just designed to be helpful if your [00:05:00] family is like ours.

And after a couple of really hard years. You are in need of some major changes just like us.

Welcome, Brad, back

Brad Packer: to

Monica Packer: the

Brad Packer: show. Thank you very much. So happy to be here in your about Progress Studio. I feel like I'm the only like live guest you actually get.

Monica Packer: I think you honestly are the only live guest I've ever had.

Brad Packer: It's honor and a privilege.

Monica Packer: Well, it's my honor. So we are here together to talk about our y year of fun, but let's go back to the beginning and let's talk about what was so bad about our family's culture.

So I thought I would just pose that question to you first. What was so bad about it?

Brad Packer: I just think that we focus, or we, I, I'm, I'm speaking mostly for me here. You can, uh,

Monica Packer: no, you can speak for us. [00:06:00]

Brad Packer: I just feel like the priorities and the focus of our family were so much on schedules and on, uh, like bedtime routines and on keeping the house clean.

And so we were always so focused and wrapped up in those things that, that was like the vast majority of my interactions with the children away from work was. Telling 'em what to do or trying to get them to complete a task. And, you know, we had a, a, a somewhat small home and six people living there. And so it's very easy for the house to get messy.

And I'm not a clean person, but I am a cleaner. And so I felt like whenever I was walking around, it was like, oh. This stuff's not put away like, Hey kid number three, come put away this mess that you made. Or if someone was dumping out blocks, like right away we're like, oh no. Like we just know that's gonna be a mess for them to clean up later.

So I was always wrapped up in those things, and if we were trying to figure out what to do or where to go, if we wanted to go on a little adventure, we would think, well, what about in bedtime? Like we can't [00:07:00] go out and have fun right now because it's already six 30 and we shouldn't have them get in the shower.

And so we were. Or I was just always wrapped up in that routine. And so it just wasn't fun. It wasn't fun for me. It wasn't fun for the kids because that was what the priority and what the focus was. And I think that when Monica mentioned that, you know, we had this, um, epiphany on January 1st of like, we need to have more fun.

I think if we go back a little bit, I mean, we spent as, as some of your listeners may know. The, the bulk of Covid, you know, we had, we had, uh, left our home in California. We were so lucky and fortunate to be able to move in with Monica's family while we, um, while we renovated a home. And we always looked ahead to that as like, Hey, when we finally get in our home, that's when we're gonna have finally enough space for our family, big enough yard for our family.

We're finally gonna be able to just like live free and be ourselves. And then the end of last [00:08:00] year, we moved into home and we found that we still were having the, the, the same

Monica Packer: constant stress,

Brad Packer: the the same stress and the same problems. And we, and it was almost like, Hey, like this isn't what we signed up for.

This isn't what we were planning on getting. When we realized, oh my goodness, like the getting caught up in the routines remains, even though we're in this, we're in this home. And we always saw that as the point when things would end. And so we almost realized like, Hey, you, you know, the haunted house movies where someone.

Is in a haunted house, and then they move and then they think, okay, we're good. But then it's, it's not that the house was haunted, it's that they were haunted or being followed by a, by a demon or whatever. We're like, okay, our house isn't haunted. The parents are haunted. So we need to make a change to have fun.

It's not a matter of just changing locations, it's, we need to do something different.

Monica Packer: Do something, wink, wink. Um. Yeah, it's really interesting to have your perspective. 'cause I do see, it's almost like the cart got put before the horse in our family in terms of just trying to always [00:09:00] be on top of things, um, was getting in the way as of us actually having relationships and a sound, family culture.

And when I think culture, I, I just mean who we define ourselves to be as a family, the, the values that we live by. Um, that's not just like. What we're taught, what we teach, or what we talk about, but actually how we live. And it just seemed like, I mean, if we're gonna talk about the factors at play. I mean, it was just a really, really stressful time.

I don't think anyone lived outside of a shiz hit the fan lifestyle like we, we did too. We all experienced that in the world. Um, and for us it definitely felt that way. And I think the stress. Of what we've just been through the past couple years, in addition to having special needs kids and trying to homeschool in the basement while both working and all of our money going into a, a kitchen renovation that just kept, or not kitchen, that was, that was years ago, a house renovation that just kept, you know, spiraling thanks to [00:10:00] Covid and the cost there.

It was just, they were dark times. I mean, let's talk about the bigger factors too. 'cause I think we can give ourselves more credit, like they were hard, dark times. And like you said, when we moved into this new house, those times didn't disappear because our kids were living that way too. Our kids were stressed, our kids were.

Uh, just not living out the values that I think we'd want or to have to create the relationships and the memories with each other and with us that I wanted them to remember.

Brad Packer: And I think because we as parents were just stretched so thin, then we just did not have the, the, the energy or the enthusiasm or the desire to do fun things.

So if the kids came to us and asked like, about adventures we could have, or doing fun things. Our first thought was like, we're, we're so tired. We don't have the energy to do that, and so we would, you know, deny them the opportunities to have fun because we were just barely keeping it together. Yeah. And I think that we look back on our own childhoods [00:11:00] and that, that was another thing that was kind of eye-opening as I thought back, I'm like, was, did I see my parents this stress all the time where they.

Was the vast majority of my interactions with them. Them telling me like, what to do and to do my chores and to clean up and to go to bed and to, uh, to go to sleep or, I, I remember it being more fun. I remember there being more adventures than we did, or more positive interactions and I, and we did not want our kids to look back and have those be there.

Their core memories is just stressful times that weren't very much fun.

Monica Packer: Yeah, I see. I think a good way to, to sum up just this whole realization for us is it was time for some healing for our family. I. And as a time for over an overhaul of our family culture and to just really stand by the values that we have, which for me, were about connection and joy and friendship instead of stress and, um, [00:12:00] limited time and anxiety and I'm sure other things.

So, you know, we have been, so January 1st. It was decided. Year of fun. And I'm gonna talk people through some of the steps we went through to create a year of fun. But essentially what it is, is we are just trying to have more fun together. That's really as simple as it is. And that includes within our home and includes local adventures, um, simple ones, and includes more like outside of our local sphere too, but not as much of those.

Um, but. We, I, I think it's, it's been going okay so far. So let's say this is, we're at the beginning of our fifth month into it. How would you say it's going?

Brad Packer: Better? Better. And I think it's because we made a determination that, hey, this is what we want to do and it's going to require us to do things differently.

We need to make a change. And so we need to go out of our [00:13:00] way to try and have more fun. And part of that was. Making sure we were getting out and, and doing things that we were going on walks, that were going on hikes, that were having little adventures. Monica's been good about planning, like, you know, spring break instead of us staying at home, making sure we can go somewhere that's different and expose the kids to other areas and, you know, ma make the trip of, of focal fun point and.

And I think we've kind of taken a step back on stressing out so much about the scheduling and bedtimes and routines and the cleanliness. Like, yeah, we, we still keep a clean house and they still are responsible for their chores and for picking up after themselves, but I'm not finding myself freaking out quite as much when, you know, I walk in a room that has recently had a tornado go through.

It's like, okay, you know what, those, those Legos will get picked up at some point. I don't need to like go find where they are outside, get them to come back in and clean it up 'cause they're having fun and it's. Ultimately not that big of a deal if there's a little bit of disarray. And so I [00:14:00] think allowing ourselves that freedom to not be a hundred percent on top of things has been like step one in creating more fun, which seems like so basic in the bare minimum, but it's made a noticeable difference.

Monica Packer: I think so too. Um, I think we'll share some more like actual ideas of what we've been up to, but just my general point of view of, you know, just our beginning of fifth month into this, I think it is making a difference and I think we noticed it pretty, I. Soon and that we could see our kids were beginning to be, um, have more fun together, to giggle more, to have more patience, less frustration, although those are still totally there.

They have not gone away. Um, but I have seen a difference and to me, it's not just what I see, it's what I feel. And I think it's what our kids likely feel too. Things just don't feel as. Wound up tight around here and I can begin to see, um, some of those [00:15:00] friendships forming better in ways. I was so hopeful to see.

Um, anything you would add to that before we share some ideas of what we've been doing, and then I'll share more of a process for them to use as well.

Brad Packer: Well, I guess I'd be kind of commenting on both, uh, on both of those things is I feel like part of it has just been saying yes more.

AD: Mm-hmm.

Brad Packer: What's funny is that the Johnson files are, are my my favorite follow.

Um, Sean just interviewed his mom on Insta Stories and posted it like a day or two ago and asked her for one of her parenting advices and she said one of the main things is just to say yes more, which I thought was really interesting is that, you know, just part of it was giving kids freedom. And part of it is that, you know when you're saying no, less often when you do say no, it is, your kids will know it's for, it's for a good reason.

And so like last night as an example, um, our kid, is bedtime really hard [00:16:00] for everyone else? Or is it just us? But we feel like. Everyone, each one of our kids goes through phases where they just are, they, they just don't go to sleep right away. And they find reasons for getting outta bed and reference to the Johnson files again for that video where they show the kids coming up with all the reasons they, they, they're not gonna sleep yet.

And it's just, it's tough because Monica and I, you know, we do a lot of our work at night and so we're. The bedtime routine is important so we can get some of our stuff done. Um, and so last night, our youngest, who is really bad right now about staying in bed, he's

Monica Packer: bed, always been bad. He's our worst sleeper.

But he's

Brad Packer: such a charmer that when he comes up with these dumb reasons, you can't help but kind of smile and be like, oh, he is so cute. Instead of like, oh, buddy, just go to sleep. So he comes up last night. Uh, an hour after he had gotten in bed and he'd already come up a handful of times and he said, Hey dad, I'm scared.

Will you come play the the guitar? And I think that outside of the year of fun, I would've been like, no way. Because bedtime was an hour ago, bud. And I [00:17:00] know that this is gonna keep you up, but you of fun. And I just heard. That video with the council to say yes. I'm like, okay, fine. I will. I will go get my guitar.

I will go downstairs and this will be a fun experience. And I had been playing just for a minute when, you know, I was playing for the room where our two youngest boys share and have a bunk bed and within a minute our. Oldest boy came from his room because he wanted to sit in and be a part of things and only played and sang like two or three songs for them, and, and they sang along.

And our, our boy that plays drums was like drumming on the bed and on the, on the post. And as I left. Everyone was happy. It was fun. It was a, it was a good experience. I get upstairs and our daughter, who is on a whole different floor, was telling me that she heard and that she was singing along to the songs that we were playing.

And I just thought, wow, that is, that's the year of fun. That's, that's what saying Yes does. Um, but then the drawback,

Monica Packer: oh, keep going,

Brad Packer: is that. It completely [00:18:00] set this little dude off. And, uh, he, he kept on coming up with reasons to come upstairs. It did not help him calm down and go to sleep, so, well, that's

Monica Packer: also because he'd accidentally taken an earlier nap.

So that's what happens for that. So let's give ourself grace. I, I feel like, um, you know, speaking of grace, let's just acknowledge it was a, it was a couple years of survival and. We were ready to move past it into healing. And I will say, regardless of where your family is on that spectrum of survival slash healing or fun, whatever it is, um, I hope this can just give you a little hope that the small things you do really do matter.

'cause we do see the difference. Um, next step we'll share some of our ideas on what we've been doing and. On top of playing the guitar when requested, as well as some tips we have on how what you can do to create your own summer or fall, or six months or year of whatever it is that your family needs to overhaul your own family culture.

The first, a quick word from our [00:19:00] sponsors. Okay, we're back. So let's talk about just some general things we've been doing. Let's start small and kind of zoom out. Um, and that will be relevant to the tips we give too. I think one of the things we first started to do was to just play Uno, just playing Uno most days, somehow some way.

And Brad was really good about doing that. We, we said maybe, what was it called, like after dinner? Fun or? Yeah. Family, fun time.

Brad Packer: Yeah. Just any sort of activity which would get us together, doing something, interacting that after dinner would

Monica Packer: be fun. Yeah. After dinner and they got ready for bed. So Uno, we bought other games.

I, I went and bought a ton of cooperative games that our therapist recommended. We, some of my kids, um, see an amazing counselor. Um, so we got some of her games that she uses with them, like noms at night. It's like a really cooperative game. Mm-hmm. Um, so games, um, what else? Let's start small.

Brad Packer: Little things like, I mean, our, our kids love music and so they have [00:20:00] been able to create their own Spotify playlist where we, you know, let 'em loose and they can pick the songs they want, and then that's what we'll listen to in the car when we're going for a longer drive or heading up to.

The in-laws for dinner, they get to listen to their playlist and then they get excited. Each kid, when it's each kid, each kid, when the songs they've chosen have popped up and they're interested to see what everyone else has chosen. Something really small, but it's been fun.

Monica Packer: Mm-hmm. Um, also just little things like going on a walk each Sunday, um, which has been nice.

Uh, we already talked about family, fun time, lip syncs. For some reason our kids like that. We haven't done that one in a while though. Uh, any other ideas? Kind of more like easy to low, low hanging fruit? Say yes.

Brad Packer: Yeah. I mean, say yes. I think just allowing ourselves to kind of be silly.

Monica Packer: Family, um, Friday movie night with popcorn.

I mean, these are things like we had been [00:21:00] doing here and there, but very inconsistently. So a lot of this was like bringing things back that we knew we liked as a family. Um,

Brad Packer: the, this is dumb, but lately, um, Monica and I set each other Instagram reels or little videos that we find funny. Oh. And I noticed that, I mean, just one day I, I was looking through the messages of everything that I'd sent Monica, and then I think one of the kids like peered over my shoulder and then I bas We basically learned that they just giggle nonstop.

If we go through four or five of these videos, we've shared back and forth of various like family friendly reels, funny things, and then, and so now one of the things they'll ask for is like, hey. Mom, dad pull up this particular video and we'll pull it up from the message stream of what we sent back and forth.

And then they just giggle and cackle and think it think it's so funny and it's just an enlighten or enlightening, uplifting for them just to be able to laugh and see something like wholesome and funny and silly. But there's connectivity in that we connect [00:22:00] connectivity. Mm-hmm. In that we all are watching and laughing at it together and it almost becomes a little bit of an inside joke where we all know what that video is and we can reference it and, and they giggle.

Monica Packer: Yeah. They do love that. And I think just overall, it's just trying to find the moments where we can just be more present and actually together, you know? Phones are put away, books are put away. We're, we're just spending even just a few minutes with our full attention. One of our favorite traditions is at dinner we do good thing, hard thing.

And again, we did this before the pandemic slipped off while we were not living in our own home. And to bring that back and actually have dinner together around the table, um, and, and just hear one good thing that happened that day and one hard thing has been really great too. So now zooming out to some.

Other things. It's just like adventures. It's just sim still simple going to a park. Um, what are the things that we've done? We've gone to the local rec center to swim on a Saturday as a family. Um, what else can you remember? [00:23:00]

Brad Packer: I think, I think it's also what we're not doing, and it's just trying not to stress over the little things.

Monica Packer: Yeah, picnics. Um, we've gone up to the capitol. We're trying to like do just more local things. Yeah. I

Brad Packer: mean, we're, we're, we're still relatively new to Salt Lake and so just going on drives and. One thing we like doing is like pointing out on a street, like which house we like the most. And the kids will do that too.

And even when we are like silently driving the 4-year-old randomly, we'll say like, that's the house I like, or That's my house.

Monica Packer: Yeah. And they usually have like an ice cream cone for McDonald's in hand too. Um, so yeah, local things like that, just finding ways to, to get out there. Um. One of our weird things on our year of fun was actually doing more extracurricular activities, which actually doesn't sound fun, but it has been.

Our kids have been out of that world. Um, so now we are in the busy season of, you know, even just two kids doing a couple sports. But I, we can see how fun it is for them to do, but also for us to be there as a [00:24:00] family, supporting them has also helped. With the culture part, like we are people, we are, we are a family who cheer each other on.

We are there for each other. We support each other. Um, and then we also have like bigger things. We went to St. George and we have some other things on our list that we would like to do this year. Um, like, I don't know, one of the kids said they want to go to a national park, by the way, which made me really happy.

So.

Brad Packer: Like that they've, they've been successfully brainwashed.

Monica Packer: Yeah. We're not doing too much out of town. I mean, we're still kind of recovering from this renovation, but that, I think this is probably the biggest takeaway is it really is small. It can be affordable. Doesn't have to take too much time, so, okay.

Anything to add there in terms of ideas before I share some tips?

Brad Packer: Uh, no, not for me right now.

Monica Packer: Okay. We'll share some highs and lows too in a moment, or like what's, what's one of your favorite things we've done? So keep that in mind while I kinda share some tips here. And then we're gonna hear some of Brad's Highs and my highs as well.

Like what have been our favorite things we've done so far? Our favorite memory.[00:25:00]

Okay. If you are ready to overhaul your family culture, you don't have to do a year of fun, but you can do, um, these kind of tips to help you create your own plan and path to overhaul your culture. And the first step is to get real. About where your culture is right now. Get real about what happened. Why is that the case?

Like maybe you're in survival mode like we were, maybe someone had health problems or mental health problems, or maybe just life got so busy or you kind of drifted away just to get real about that. Also, to get real about what feelings are missing in your family right now. Um, that was one, it sounded like I was getting emotional.

It was just more like I was having like an allergy attack. You're having a moment here. Um, like what feelings are you missing? That's a great place to start. We were missing fun. [00:26:00] That's why we decided the year fun. But maybe other years we'd be like missing. I don't know. I'm trying to think of what other things can go in there.

Uh, spirituality maybe, or, uh, silliness. You get to decide, so what kind of feelings are missing? And then think about what kind of family culture do you want to have? And I shared a few times out to me that was pretty value centric. So you can get clear on that as a family. What, what kind of culture do we wanna have?

What values do we care about? What do we want to be known for, but also how do we want to feel as a family? The next step I have for you, after getting real, is to decide on a sort of theme, whether it's for a summer or a fall or a few month period, or even for a whole year, you can do this midyear. By the way, it doesn't have to be January.

You don't have to wait till January. What's a kind of theme you can have and decide as a family that is related to the get real part? After that, the next step I have for you, and the, the next three are the only, the last three [00:27:00] also. But they also, um, go back to some main tools that I use in this community and in my coaching.

And this first tool is to cast a vision. And this is where I would advise you to conduct a shoot for the stars, kind of brainstorm with all the family members on what you can do to meet your theme and to rebuild your culture. And our brainstorm was pretty intense. I mean, we had things like Brad and I were gonna go to New York, we were gonna go to Yellowstone, we were gonna go to Disneyland, we were gonna go all these big places.

And most of those things are now off our list, which is okay because we're having sprinklers put in instead. But there were. It was nice to shoot for the stars and, and doing that, and I just did it with my kids for the summer plans is I was able to hear more of what they're intrigued by. And most of it is just small stuff we can do around here.

Like one of our kids wants to have a barbecue night with friends and I thought that was awesome while another kid wanted to go back and visit California. So it was just nice to, to hear what was important to them. So you cast a vision with a shoot for the [00:28:00] Stars, brainstorm. Then after that I want you to zoom out in terms of narrowing down a real plan and, and this is still a bigger picture plan about some.

Big things that you would like to do, some kind of bonding events. And this can still be local. Like maybe you want to go to a certain splash pad or maybe you want to attend a certain play. Oh, that was one of the things we did, we went to like the family symphony day. That was so fun. At least it was for me.

Um, you know, so it can be things like that. What are some bonding events that you would like to put on a calendar? So after you zoom out with some bigger bonding events, then zoom in. To where you are as a family and how you can settle in on some realistic and regular rituals, habits and traditions that you can install that will help that culture shift.

So I'm gonna review those, get real, decide on a theme, cast a vision, zoom [00:29:00] out with some big picture bonding events, and then zoom in to some where some ways that you can start right here, right now. And then easy more. Regular way. Okay. That was a lot. So let's end on some highlights for them. Do you have any that come to mind?

I can see that you were writing a few things there.

Brad Packer: Well, a couple of 'em we already mentioned. One was, you know, we we're, we're not used to the winter being, you know, so cold. And so we went indoor swimming at the local rec center a couple of times and that was unusual. To say like, Hey, put on your swimsuits.

It's 30 degrees, but we're gonna go jump in a pool. And, and the kids love that. And it was something we were able to do only for like an hour or so, but they had fun and there was, you never

Monica Packer: have to go long. That's my thing. It's like, an hour is awesome. We'll be happy with an hour. I

Brad Packer: think giving ourselves the grace to know that, yeah, the length doesn't make the event, you do it as long as it is, uh, productive and people are having fun.

And then you pull the plug as soon as you're ready to move on. And [00:30:00] so. That was not something we'd normally do, and it was fun for the kids. And then just anything that get gets you out of the house like they finished, uh. Installing a skate park just a mile or so from us. And so a handful of times I've grabbed the kids and we just drive and park there and watch all these young kids try skating and it's been really fun for them to, to see that.

And it's small, it's simple, but it's us getting outta the house. The kids have been talking about wanting to do a camp out, and it still is probably. Too cold to camp outside overnight for us right now, or not for normal people, but our kids get cold really easily. So we set up the tent in the basement and then.

Pulled out a couple sleeping bags and all four kids slept in there overnight and had a reading party and they loved that. And it was fun.

Monica Packer: Three

Brad Packer: outta the

Monica Packer: four wet, the

Brad Packer: sleeping bags.

Monica Packer: But

Brad Packer: can you win some? You lose some small and simple. And then the last thing I'd add is, um, we try and feed into whatever our kids are passionate about [00:31:00] and.

For our family, it's Star Wars and, and I guess really, where does that passion stem from? It's us brainwashing them into it's you. I

Monica Packer: did not get into Star Wars growing up. I love

Brad Packer: it. And so liking Star Wars, and so the book of Boba Fat was on Disney Plus and episodes came out every week and the kids loved it.

And so a lot of our fun was. Uh, enveloped in watching the episodes together, and then we'd talk about it through the week and we'd guess what was gonna happen next. And then they would get all excited when it was, Hey, new episode, let's watch Book of Boba fit something small. But it was something they, they cared about something dad cares about.

And so it became a, a fun family bonding experience. And there's gotta be things that your own kids, if you have 'em, are passionate about, that you could feed into and. I don't know, like when there was something I loved when I was a kid and my parents supported me in that, or they faked liking it as well.

It made me feel good.

Monica Packer: I am really excited about this summer, and you know, coincidentally, I, I mentioned this a little bit. I alluded to it that [00:32:00] my kids and I took some time to brainstorm tonight. I, I let Brad Hering stink away to the gym so we could record. Um, but he and I had already brainstormed a few things together too, is I'm, I'm excited for the summer because we were able to do that together.

We were able to do our shoot for the Stars part. And it is, um, kind of a good way for me to, uh, recommit to the Euro fun because even. Though I think we were doing pretty well with being very intentional. We kind of drifted away from the intentionality piece, and I think we're ready to, to do that again.

Um, so I'm going to share, uh, a little, do something challenge for people today and it's to just do one small thing that you can start with their family. Um, like a small tradition for me. Maybe I would suggest do Uno, like get some UNO cards. Or maybe a movie night on Fridays or popcorn on Saturdays or a Sunday walk.

One small tradition that you can put in place for your family. And, uh, my own commitment, and I'm just gonna report in here, is to do. [00:33:00] More of the family fun time after dinner. 'cause that's one I I, I do need to work at night and so I, I'm tired already and I need to, I have that urgency of like, I have an hour to work and I need to get this stuff done after they go to bed.

Um, so there's kind of a little bit of that. Like, let's, let's do this, let's get them to bed. But I, I would like to just spend even five minutes doing some family, family fun time. What about you, Brad? Any one place you would suggest they start or one small tradition that you would advise?

Brad Packer: I was gonna say, just kind of what we had already mentioned earlier, like go back to your kids, go back to your spouse and find out what they enjoy doing, what they're passionate about, what they want to do, and then find ways to plan around that.

Find ways to incorporate that into, you know, big adventures and small adventures, nightly routines or bigger things. I

Monica Packer: love that advice. So that's it for our kind of accountability podcast episode on this. But also I hope what it can do is to help you feel like [00:34:00] you're not so alone. If your family is struggling with how you're feeling, how you're functioning, and to also give you.

A different sort of pathway to, to restore it and to heal it. And we're on our way. We still have work to do, that's for sure. Maybe we'll do another kind of, um, report in, I don't know, in the fall sometime to share how things are going that way. But I'm grateful that we've been able to have this healing so far and I'm excited for what can come.

And I'm excited that you were able to be part of this episode, Brad, and along the ride too. So thanks for being here.

Brad Packer: No, of course. Thanks for having me on.

Monica Packer: I hope this episode gave you the hug and kick in the pants you need to grow. I'll now share the progress pointers. These are the notes I took so you don't have to, and those on my newsletter, give them in a graphic form each week.

You can sign up at about progress.com/newsletter. And just another reminder that the progress pointers I share on the episode will be a little bit shorter than the actual progress pointers, which will be a little bit more meaty if that's your thing. [00:35:00] Number one, start by getting real. If you need to shift your family culture, get some clarity on where you currently are at, awareness is the first step to change.

Number two, fun isn't optional. It's essential. Number three, little things add up. Regular simple moments can shift your family culture in powerful ways. Number four, let go of perfection. It's okay if things don't go according to plan or if things are a little bit messier, the goal is more connection. And number five.

Make healing a family project. Don't do it alone. Invite your children and your partner into the process to create a culture of fun that reflects everyone's voices. Again, you can get the progress pointers at about progress.com/newsletter. I told you that I was going to give you a quick little update on some more ideas.

They include watching movies together. We are currently on the third movie, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy and enjoying it. So, so much. Something like that is so simple, but so enjoyable [00:36:00] and creates a tradition too. Another tradition we've had as a family to prioritize fun is when we move into a season, like summer or fall or around winter time, we create a bucket list of fun things that we want to do together.

We write it down. It's not fancy. I hang it up on the wall that leads to our family basement. It's kind of our family zone of like getting organized and we just gradually check things off throughout the season. Other traditions have included family pizza nights or inviting people over for dessert or dinner or popsicles.

We love to go to local things like this Harvest Festival called Crossy Ranch for those who are local to Utah, but something more, taking advantage of the local festivals or cultural events going on are really fun. Another thing I'd highly recommend is the get Out Pass. I have a coupon code if you want that.

Just email me and I'll send it to you. I pay for this and it is. Undeniably my kids' favorite thing, especially during the summer, we go to amusement parks, to indoor trampoline [00:37:00] centers and rollerskating, and we get into so many things all for free because of the get out pass. Then there's other simple things, like my kids said, they love to just play outside with their friends in the sprinklers.

Just having that free time outside has been so rewarding and helpful. Also,

we like to take it outside on Tuesdays in the summer, we can go on hikes or walks, and I always love to have a little treat or reward at the end, even if that's, we watch a show together after we get home or we get ice cream or something else like that. And my kids also said they love swimming.

So those are just a few more ideas and I have many more. And they're actually all in a printable form for you to create a summer of fun. And that's all included as part of my workshop that is now available for you at about progress.com/summer workshop, where you can sign up for the best summer ever workshop where I help you craft a summer for the scrapbooks.

That's where you can get more clarity on how you want to feel as a family and literal plans on how to do so, including the printables which have routines and kitchen [00:38:00] rules and snacks that they can have. And a place for you to brainstorm certain ideas, so it's all there for you.

Again, at about progress.com/summer workshop, I. This podcast is listener supported. Members of the Supporters Club make my work with about progress free and available to all. They also get access to three levels of exclusive benefits for more time to more content with me.

About progress would not be possible without supporters. Please consider being one by going to about progress.com/support. Remember, you can always support the show for free. A simple way you can do that today is make sure you leave a rating and review on the podcast app you're listening on.

And to go the extra mile, subscribe to us on YouTube and watch the show there. Thank you so much for listening. Now go and do something with what you learned today.

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