How to Get Unstuck in Restarting Your Career After Years of Staying Home with Kids || coaching call with Kate

Are you struggling with the idea of returning to work after years of being a stay-at-home parent? In this episode, I discuss the daunting process of going back to work after being a stay-at-home mom. I coach a listener named Kate, who has an 11-year gap in her resume and is dealing with fears and self-doubt about reentering the workforce.

Together, we explore practical steps and emotional hurdles, focusing on regaining identity, embracing vulnerability, and striving for personal fulfillment. If you're contemplating a significant life change or battling self-doubt, this episode is for you.

Check out my new workshops: ⁠aboutprogress.com/workshops⁠ 

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TRANSCRIPT

Hi, I'm Monica Packer and you are listening to About Progress where we are about progress made practical.

One of the most complex issues I see women face is the transition from being a stay at home mother to rejoining or joining for the first time, the workforce. For starters, there's all they have to do literally to make this thing happen. Create a resume, research jobs, select a field, apply interview, and then finally make the leap and cross that finish line.

But where I see women get stuck the most is before all of that begins. , Like they're stopping at the starting line. So what do you do with something as big and often necessary as getting a job despite a big gap on your resume?[00:01:00]

How do you navigate the fears of potential rejection, maybe fruitless labor frustrations while you try and even vulnerability as you open yourself up to it all. As you'll hear today, the answer is both simple and complex. It comes back to knowing who you are. This is what I walked a progressor named Kate through and a coaching call she agreed to share with you here while she worked before having children, and at the beginning of raising her family.

She eventually chose to stay at home and she's now at a crossroads where it's time for her to rejoin the workforce, but with an 11 year unexplained gap on her resume, while she has so much to do, the biggest issue has been internal. She's stuck in fear. You'll hear me help Kate work through it all.

Next coming up after a quick break for our sponsors.

Monica Packer: Kate, welcome [00:02:00] to about progress. Thank you. I. I'd love to start with an introduction. Tell us a little bit about you.

Kate: Okay. Um, I am a 47-year-old stay at home mom. Um, I had a career, a pretty great career, and then, um, chose to stay home with my kids. I worked from home for a while. I've been out of.

Paid employment, I guess, for 11 years, and, um, keep thinking that I wanna go back, um, that I would feel more fulfilled going back to work. But, um, I, it's. It's been really hard for me to figure out a way to do that and still, maintain my abilities as a mom and, um, to keep, you know, my house in order and everything.

But I am getting to the point where, it would be really beneficial for us financially if I could contribute in that way. But I just [00:03:00] feel stuck. I, I am not sure what I want to do, um, how to go about even figuring that out. I, I can't even make myself start a resume, which is ironic because I, one of my side gig, um, over the years has been to help people with resumes.

But every time I sit down to do that myself, I just feel stuck. Sounds like you freeze. Excuse me. I, um, I freeze and I, uh, feel a sense of imposter syndrome. Like, um, you know, I had this great career. I have a really wonderful education. I went to an Ivy League school and, you know, every time I talk to my, um, husband about it, he thinks that I, you know, have all these great things.

But then I look at my big gap in my, um, employment, and I start to talk myself out of. Um, you know, feeling qualified for anything. That sounds interesting. [00:04:00]

Monica Packer: Wow. So this is something that a lot of women, I. Struggle with a lot of women, and I think they similarly find themselves in that position of feeling frozen over it because there's so much to do practically, but it's also the deeper side where they get the most stuck, I think.

So today it seems like that would be the most helpful instead of getting into the brass tacks of like, okay, so this is how you manage home and work at the same time. It's more like, how do I even. I start applying to jobs, right? How do I even own my capacities and what I have to give and to offer to industries out there?

Is that right? Right.

Kate: Yeah. And just like I, I guess I just need help figuring out first steps like, um. I guess logically, I know getting my resume going is one of those, but I, I, I just need help figuring out how to get unstuck from Okay. You know, talking myself out of this all the [00:05:00] time.

Monica Packer: Mm-hmm. Well, let's, let's start there with the talking yourself out of it.

If you sit down, like imagine yourself sitting down and you're about to write your resume and you kind of freeze up a bit and you start to ruminate. And you have all this, all the, all these feelings pop up and maybe all these thoughts come up. Can you tell me what it is, like, what's that talking tape in your head saying to you?

Kate: Um, well, for one, I struggle to figure out how to explain that gap, um, to market myself, which, I know can be done. Um, but the, the other part of it is like, which, focus do I put on my resume? Like, okay. I, I'm not even sure what I want to do. , I am in the state of life where I have a lot of teenagers and I always thought when I got to this point of life, it would be smooth sailing and nobody would [00:06:00] need me.

But I, I fill my days and it's mostly tasks that are. You know, meaningful on some level. I know that the work that I do is meaningful, but, um, like overall, probably not satisfying. I know that I want to find a way to add meaning to my life and to use my brain in a different way again, and to, you know, I mean have, have things that are to talk about that are more interesting, I guess, um, than.

Just my, you know, current day to day. But I also, I want to keep that, part of my life going because I, I enjoy, you know, being there for my family. I, that's super important to me. But I also, I know I need to find something that's very, like, that allows me to be mom still. Mm-hmm. And allows me to,

run kids places or be there for a really late [00:07:00] night chat with a teenager that needs to, to, uh, you know, unload some stuff going on. So when I start thinking about like, what could I do that I could, you know, that would easily fit into my life, that would be worth the time that I'm taking away from, the other things that I'm doing that would add value to our, our family and still allow me to be,

you know, the present mom that I wanna be. So then I talk myself out of it. 'cause I'm like, ah, like I don't have any great skill that I'd be able to do all that. Got it. And then, oh, and then the other part of it is that I sometimes look into jobs that I, I would be qualified for, um, from my previous career.

And then I go to click on apply and it says like, a hundred plus people have already applied, like on LinkedIn. Okay. And so then immediately I'm like. I, I never [00:08:00] gonna get this. Like, why even bother if there's a hundred plus people applying for this desirable work from home position and I have an 11 year gap in my resume, so then I just sort of like spiral into

Monica Packer: the stuck place again.

Kate: Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: Yeah, it it sounds like a big swirl. You've got the practical Yes. Questions, big swirl. Yeah, you've got those practical questions swirling around on what to put on the resume, how to explain the gap, what job to look for, what field you'd be right for, but it seems like the deeper stuff is really what the main issues are in terms of.

Will I be struggling, my responsibilities at home? Is there gonna be some flexibility? How am I gonna be able to do both? Yeah. Uh, will anyone see me as qualified? Am I qualified? , So let's go to the deeper things first, and I think we can get to the practical stuff a little bit, um, with time.

Okay. But let's start with a big [00:09:00] question and it's gonna be pretty meaty, and I want you to just go with exactly what comes up when I ask you this question. Like, no filter. Let's get to the heart of it. The question is, what are you afraid of?

Kate: , Well, the first thing that comes to mind is like, I don't wanna be crazy, which just sounds ridiculous, but I, I feel like I am a pretty, good mom and I. I kind of have a low tolerance for chaos, and I know that about myself and I like order and I like structure and I like to my to-do list, and I like to check things off and I, I worry about being able to manage it all and still be happy and present.

So I think that is my biggest fear, is how to keep that part of myself, I guess. Like, to feel like I'm accomplishing things and, um, happy. So that's, that's a big part of it. And then the other thing that comes up is failure, [00:10:00] rejection, I guess. Um, feeling like I'm not good enough. Like I, I don't have what it, what people want, I guess.

And,

I don't know, just rejection, I guess, like applying to things over and over again and putting a bunch of work into it and not finding something that that works for me and to feel rejected.

Monica Packer: We have these, um, these maxims out there to push against your fears or to push your fears aside. And while ultimately that's what I want you to do, you know, to be able to move past these fears, in order to do that, I find it's helpful to find the wisdom and the fears. That there is wisdom there.

And in order to be able to move through those fears, you need to isolate what the wisdom is there. So what is some of wisdom? What's some of the wisdom in, in these [00:11:00] fears?

Kate: When it comes to like being worried about managing it all, I think that's, you know, a valid.

Concern just because I'm only one person and, I don't know. I guess like logically when I'm thinking about it, I am like knowing that I, there are things I could let go of and things I can delegate like there. Yeah. The wisdom in it is that I, I can't do everything all at once, I guess. And then I don't know the wisdom and like the fear of rejection and failure.

That just feels really bad. But I, I guess like being vulnerable is, a struggle for me and something maybe I need to be better at. Um, yeah. So. It might be good practice for me to put myself out there in terms of vulnerability and, [00:12:00] and the other thing that kind of is coming up for me right now when you're talking about this, is that like I have a kid that's trying to figure out next steps for life, like graduating from high school and, we're having, I'm having some of these same conversations with her about being brave and,

Monica Packer: yeah.

Kate: And, putting a toe in the water of something that seems scary. So like I am recognizing as we're talking about this, that these are some of the fears. Mm-hmm. Um, I think that are popping up for her as well. Yeah. And on the other side of it, where I'm like the mom, I can see. The value of going through those hard things and, and pushing through fears, um, in order to meet goals.

But it's hard when it's yourself.

Monica Packer: Well, yeah, and I think too, when you are an adult and a mom too, that you think, well, this should just be [00:13:00] easier. Like, I must be doing it wrong if it's not easy for me. To do these things. Yeah. You know, there's, there's that too, I think to it. So in validating the wisdom in these fears, what we're gonna do is let those, let's, what is true and valid in those lead, what you actually want out of a job, which I've been collecting some information on.

So we'll come back to that.

Kate: Okay.

Monica Packer: Invalidating them. We're also going to invalidate the parts of the fears that aren't helpful that you can then push away, which I think if I'm gonna reflect back some of these for you, I think ultimately you have a fear of a lot of these come back to who you are, a doubting of, who am I like?

Mm-hmm. What do I have to offer the greater world, even though I know logically, you know, what I've done has been. So valuable, but to the world? What can I have to offer? When you talked about losing your sanity and you explained, you know, being how it [00:14:00] could stretch you more thin and it'd be hard to manage, that's all very true and valid, right?

So Right. Use that information and helpful ways. But what's unhelpful about that, I think is this connection your subconscious is making that I could lose myself. Right. If I'm not able to manage my priorities at home and at work, if I feel stretched too thin, if I feel uncomfortable, if I find myself more stretched or overwhelmed, I'm losing myself.

Kate: Yeah, I think that's very, I hadn't thought about it that way. I. Which is scary. But it is scary and, and you know, thinking about it that way too, like I am at that stage of life also where I feel like I, I kind of already lost myself, like the, my previous self. That's,

an interesting way of looking at it. 'cause I, I. Would like to strike a balance between who I feel like I used to be, which I felt more accomplished, more interesting. You know, I [00:15:00] and I, I don't mean to say being a stay at home mom as any of those things. I chose this and I love it and it's, it's been an important thing for me to be, but I've definitely lost a part of myself that was valuable to me and I have found meaning in my current role.

I just need to figure out how to strike a balance and find a new version of myself that kind of lends both of those. Mm-hmm. Parts of me. Yeah, it, this is one of those no wonder moments. Like, no wonder you sit down to write a resume or to search for jobs, and you get stuck because you're not just facing the overwhelm of all the practical steps it will take to find the right job and to get hired.

Monica Packer: You're facing these very deep and real questions of identity, right? And who you were. So no wonder, no wonder, and in validating that what I'm trying to help you remove is this shame and blame. Towards yourself about this. [00:16:00] Like, if you make this mean even more about you than it should,

that's gonna make you stay stuck, right? But in validating, no wonder this is hard, we can almost take a step back and remove that shame and blame which helps you move through it differently. And before we do that, there's one other thing here that I was able to pinpoint on why this is hard.

We talked about how it's like you having to face, who am I? Right. Am I gonna lose myself in forging this new path in finding a new identity in, in some ways, and finding fulfillment in that, uh, am I losing the part of me that I've cherished and work towards as a mom? Also, that doubt of like, can the old me that was so clear, can I find that clarity in this new right path?

Okay, so there's all that, but also the rejection piece. When you spoke to, you know, the failure is actually equates a rejection to you. [00:17:00] That's another self thing. Mm-hmm. It's a rejection of who you are. Right. So it's so much deeper than just not getting a job. It's a rejection of self. Right. Yeah. I think you're right.

Okay. So now we know that and we don't want you to stay there. Right. This is good. Okay. We know no wonder. This is really deep. Okay, so knowing that what we have to do is help you anchor into knowing who you are first, so that you can show up to the practical tasks, finding a job and the right job will entail, but in ways where that job doesn't have to prove that self.

Where you're able to persist because you have that anchor inside of you, okay? Where you're able to be brave because you know the deeper whys of why you're doing this, which you've already listed so much. The fulfillment, how much it will add meaning to your life. Also the practical [00:18:00] side of adding, financial, you know, support to your family.

So that's what we've gotta do. How can we anchor into who you really are? Yeah. So

Kate: how about we start there? Okay, I like that. That's not anything I've considered before in this process. So that might be a big

Monica Packer: part of the problem here. So the identity work is something we could probably spend like eight sessions on, to be honest, like eight full hours on.

So I think the way we can help you start to get clarity on reorienting yourself. With that deeper knowledge of who you are is another simple but not so easy to answer question, and it's what do you want? What do you want? Oh,

out of this next stage of your life, out of the job, it can be both macro and micro. What do [00:19:00] you want out of this next stage?

Kate: Well, I think there are several things I'd like to feel like I am

contributing in a meaningful way in, in a variety of ways. Like, financially, I, like my husband's really stressed out lately with a lot of things. I would Like to help lift his, , burden in that way a little bit. But also like, um, he's always been so proud of me and, you know, the path that I had before we start a family and, it's nice to hear somebody feel that way about you and talk that way about you.

Yeah. And so I, I, I. Sometimes feel like, you know, I, I would like to fulfill my potential a little bit more, I guess. Um, and, and also just like feel like I'm adding value to the world. Like, I know I do that as a mom. Um, and I do a lot of community work as well, and I know I do add [00:20:00] value in those ways.

But I, I, I feel like there's, there are other ways that I feel like I can add value to the world that I'm not. Currently fulfilling. So I, I think like the, probably the overarching answer is just like, fulfill my potential, I guess. Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: I love that succinct way of, of saying it, like, I wanna fulfill my potential and what I hear you talk about adding value to the world. I see it more like that you're broadening, right? Your contribution, it's been, uh, so understandably and chosen, refined. Where you've been funneling your skillsets and your talents and your, uh, work, like your actual time, and now you have the opportunity to broaden that right in ways that can add more, uh, other things you brought up too, uh, earlier it can.

Make you use different parts of your brain that you haven't used in a while. Mm-hmm. Different skill sets that you know you have inside of you, but didn't necessarily apply to maybe [00:21:00] raising kids right at home. Right. Um, so that's another part of what you seem to want. Something that makes you think, right.

Yeah. Meaningful work. Mm-hmm. Contribution. Yeah. Yeah. And when I chose to stay at home with my kids,, I had never intended for this to be my, my end goal. I had always said I wanted to go back to work when my kids were all in school and I wanted, or maybe even go back for more schooling.

Kate: So that, that has kind of always been. Part of my plan. And I, I feel like, the pandemic kind of took me off of that path a little bit. Having twins took me off of that path a little bit. Just there were some curve balls with my kind of set plan that sort of delayed things. And then I feel like I kind of, you know, got off of my original path.

But yeah, like using my brain more and feeling, um, I keep hesitating to say like feeling like I'm contributing more to society because [00:22:00] I, I know again, what I'm doing is meaningful. I have to keep saying that. But when we're out with other adults, I would love to have some other things to talk about besides my kids and my, volunteer work.

And I feel like in some ways I, had one path as an adult and then I veered off into another path and I kind of just wanna merge the two Yeah. Parts of my adulthood and, you know, anyway. I hope that makes sense. It

Monica Packer: totally makes sense. If I were to encapsulate what you just said, I think it's this desire for more, yeah.

I want more. I'm grateful for what I've had. And I've done a good job and I've chosen it, and I've leaned in, and now I'm ready for more. Right. I'm ready for more. And with that, I think to feel more alive, to feel more like myself,

Kate: right? Yeah. To almost return

Monica Packer: back to parts of myself, to bring it back. Right.

Um, and to lean into where that's gonna take me in the future. That [00:23:00] merging. So it's not about, so this is where we're gonna speak to some of those fears. Okay. And moving forward, it's not about a cutting off. Of both like your long past, but also your most recent past right now of being a stay at home mom to kids.

A moving forward isn't a cutting off,

Kate: right? It's a

Monica Packer: Bringing everything with me forward into what's next. I like that. Thats a way you can speak here. Yeah,

Kate: I like that view.

Monica Packer: One more practical thing that I I've noticed you want is we're gonna use the wisdom in one of your fears. Like what if it's too much, maybe you know you need a career.

That is more manageable. Maybe, you know, you wanna start with part-time or one that has more flexible work hours or where you can make your own hours or flexibility in terms of where you work, if that's something that is helpful for you, if you'd rather work at home or if you know the office where you need to be.

But you can still design your own hours. So that could be kind of a checkbox that you would [00:24:00] like to check.

Kate: Yes. Yes. Yeah. And I, I've already identified it needs to be something that's flexible and from home. I have a spouse that travels a lot, and, that's the other part that's kind of tricky is I feel like I have kind more narrow parameters to work with, which causes a little, intimidation when I'm starting to look at things because it kind of, it really narrows my, my options.

Monica Packer: So here's, here's what I want to do. One, I want to imagine you are sitting down to write your resume in the near future. And as you're sitting down, that swirls coming up. And what I want you to be able to do differently this time is to acknowledge the fears, but not let them carry you away.

Kate: Okay.

Monica Packer: Okay. And the way I think that would be most helpful to do that is to take a minute to just sit and breathe.

Like to really ground [00:25:00] yourself into your body and to call out the fears that are there, but to speak to them, you know, to talk back to them. Okay? I am capable. I have such amazing skill sets, both before becoming a stay at home mom and also through being a stay at home mom. Like I'm not going to deny the amazing capacities that I've built up as a mom too.

I have so much to offer. I have so much to give. Another thing that can help ground you, I think in that moment is what you want, is bringing it up for yourself. Because the fears are always gonna be there,

Kate: right?

Monica Packer: You know that, you know that with your daughter, you're talking her through that right now.

They will always be there. What helps you move through them is that your desire for more outweighs the weight of the fears.

Kate: Okay.

Monica Packer: So where, you know, like, yeah, I'm afraid, but this matters so [00:26:00] much to me that I'm willing to face these fears and move through them because I know who I am and what I want and what I need out of my life.

Yeah,

Kate: that makes sense to me. That's super helpful actually. Because I have been looking at. Making my resume. I mean, it's a task, right? It's been on my to-do list for a year or more. Mm-hmm. And it's just keeps getting bumped down. I, I think because I've been looking at it as like a task and something that, you know, will require like steps and things to do and not like a step toward.

Becoming maybe what I'm wanting or, or I guess what we were talking about earlier about fulfilling potential. I, mm-hmm. I think if I'm able to, you know, [00:27:00] kind of talk myself through that process, with that overall goal in mind, I think that. So that will be really helpful.

Monica Packer: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And again, I think it's that weird, that swirl is so weird because you sit down and you think you're just doing something really practical, but what you're really doing is something very deep and challenging, right?

So accepting that will help you move through it differently. Because before it was like, what's wrong with me? Like why can't I just do this? And now, you know, well, because it's really hard. 'cause I had to face these big things and these big questions and. Um, and facing myself too. So now that I know that I can face that differently 'cause I'm expecting it and I'm not gonna make it mean something about me.

And it could be, you know, as simple as you sitting down and you reminding yourself, I'm ready for more.

Kate: Right.

Monica Packer: I'm ready to fulfill my potential more and broadened ways. I'm ready. Um, so now let's talk about the practical side a little bit.

Kate: Okay? [00:28:00]

Monica Packer: Okay. And this is gonna be like. We're not gonna have the exact, here's your plan A to Z.

I'm sure there you could, Google that and find many, like, here's how to go back to work after being a stay-at-home mom. Here's how you can explain, you know, the gap in your resume and all that. Um, and that would, maybe that's one of your next steps that you actually do need to do or talk to other moms that you know and say, Hey, can I take a look at your resume?

Yeah. So that all can help.

Kate: Yeah.

Monica Packer: But I actually just want you to think of. If we were to reverse roles, and let's say you're a resume coach on my side and you're talking to someone like you, what would you tell that person to do about their resume? Delana?

Kate: Well, I know exactly what I would tell 'em because I've helped people do this.

Yeah, I imagined you did. So, yeah. What would you say? Create a skills based resume, like a skills focused resume, and think about the transferable skills that you [00:29:00] have had to develop and use as a stay at home mom and focus on those. And also to pull volunteer things and other things that you've done over the years and talk those up in your resume to fill in the gaps so I know exactly what I need to do. Great. It's just so much harder when it's myself and you know, when you're outside of somebody's life. It's so much easier to be like, oh, you've done this, you've done this. Look how, like yes. Much you have done as a stay at home mom and you've, you know, like you've developed all these skills and you've had to manage all this and, um, and you've, you know, volunteered at the school and, you know, doing this and this leadership role, church or whatever.

And some of those things aren't. You know, necessarily going to go on your resume, but figure out like what skills that you have had to use and, and let's put them in your resume. So it's so much easier for me to say that when I'm not muddled in my own Yeah.

Imposter syndrome where I'm feeling [00:30:00] like mm-hmm.

You know, like I am just. You know, blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. So I, I know what I need to do and maybe, maybe part of that is just me stepping outside of myself and talking to myself like I'm a, I think so, I'm somebody else, and having to. Maybe interview myself, like

Monica Packer: I'm

Kate: another

Monica Packer: person or something.

I don't know. But I think that would be a fantastic idea. Yeah. It's almost like become your own resume coach and just do a brainstorming session where you write down all the potential skills that you've gained and that the experience that you've have. Uh, and just, I, I almost feel like you gotta write a terrible resume.

You just got something to, you just need to have something there so that you can build off of it. Just a starting point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's great.

Kate: That's a good thought. Yeah,

Monica Packer: so we've got a couple steps there. We also, you know, threw out a couple other things, like I'm sure there's someone out there, maybe not in your neighborhood, but hopefully, um, but [00:31:00] within your network of friends and where you've lived and who you know, who's been in the same place.

Right. Maybe that's part of it is asking, Hey, how did you explain the gap? Hey, can I see your resume? Hey, what position do you think would be right for me if I'm looking for this? That seems like other first steps. So I think, I think, you know, and that's why we didn't start with the practical, like, you know, all this, right?

You don't need that. I think it was the deep

Kate: side. Yeah, it is. 'cause it's, it's me talking myself out of it. I know how to do this stuff. It's just my. Confidence in myself, I think. Mm-hmm. And my fears that are holding me back. Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: So just like your daughter, I think, because you are ready for more, it's time.

Mm-hmm. It is time to know that moving forward you can do it scared and the time is gonna pass no matter what.

Kate: Right. Right.

Monica Packer: So you might as well [00:32:00] do it scared. Do it messy. Right. Until you figure it out. Yeah. So I want to hear from you what's the next step that, you know, you can take, a small step that you can take?

Kate: I think putting more, research into. How to help me explain the gap. Like I've, I've actually helped people do that before, but I think just maybe building my confidence in knowing how to do that in a resume would be helpful. So putting some research into that. Um, and then the other thing that I know I need to do is put myself out there mm-hmm.

And let people know that I'm ready to go back to work because I do, I have quite. I have a lot of friends and I have a good, pretty good network. And, um, but it, that's scary too, being vulnerable in that way and being like, Hey, I'm looking for a job and I'm ready to work. And, um, if you think of something, if [00:33:00] something pops up that you hear about that you think might be a good fit for me, let me know.

But that, that's a little scary for me too. But I, I, I know that. A lot of times it's who you know and that can help, get you in the door for jobs and so I, I just need to, to be vulnerable in that way as well. So probably research and then putting some feelers out would be my next steps.

Monica Packer: Okay, well when you do that, you can email me and I can be your little accountability buddy.

Just tell me that. Okay. You did it. And in terms of the reaching out, I think those fears are pretty, pretty similar to the ones when you sit down to write a resume in terms of the fear of losing yourself or a rejection yourself, right? So mm-hmm. That, that's when you know those, there, those fears are not gonna disappear, but your desires can outweigh the fears, which that was the thing I was trying to say earlier.

I

Kate: knew what you meant.

Monica Packer: I knew you meant, I was like, [00:34:00] it's not coming, but we're still just gonna keep going. Um, so with this, I think the last thing I'd like to hear is, what do you want to make sure you remember the most about our session together as we next steps? Um,

Kate: well, I, I think kind of the aha moment that I had when we were talking was kind of what you helped me identify about.

That it's more of an identity thing. And that my ultimate goal is fulfilling my potential. I think that's what I, I need to remember when I start spiraling that there's a bigger goal here. It's not just about contributing financially or some of these other things. That's, that. The overarching component of that is

fulfilling my potential and, and merging my old self with my newer self. And just your next self becoming a more satisfied version of me, I guess. [00:35:00] So that's what I'm hoping to, to remember as I try to work through the spiraling That's so great and the tasks that get me to the next

Monica Packer: step. So, well, I'm proud of you for that.

And if I can just boost your. Confidence in telling you, like, I have no doubt you're gonna find the right job. And to be able to adjust to that with time. And I have to tell you, I did, when I did my teacher training in California, you had to do a special extra year. There were three moms who were all in their late forties in the program.

Kate: Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: And they got stuff done. Yeah. They were the best students in the entire cohort, and it was a very intensive. Program. They got things done. That's what moms do. We get things done. Yeah. I also have a friend in my neighborhood who similarly was like Ivy League educated, stayed at home with her, her five children for quite a long time, and now she's like ahead of a really important part of the local like [00:36:00] state government.

So, oh wow. You know, there you have that potential and maybe that's partly. What you need to do in, in reaching out is, is validating that women do this. And you can too. You can.

Kate: Yeah. Yeah. I know. And that's, that's another thing that I have to keep reminding myself is that there are working moms everywhere that figure out how to balance it and find fulfillment in their motherhood and their career.

And, um, yeah. Yeah. I'm not the, I'm not the first, nor will I be the last to try to. Figure out the balance and to try to get myself back out there.

Monica Packer: Yeah. Well, I love that. Well, Kate, thank you so much for being willing to do this coaching call with me. I appreciate your time.

Kate: Thank you very much. I appreciate all the insights that you've helped me figure out.

Great. It was all in there. Very helpful. Been very helpful. Good. Yeah, it really was all

Monica Packer: in there though. That's

I hope this episode gave you the [00:37:00] hug and kick in the pants you need to grow. I will now share their progress pointers. These are the notes I took so you don't have to. And those on my newsletter.

Get them in a graphic form each week. You can sign [email protected]. And just a heads up, I'm shifting the progress pointers a little bit. I'm making them very simple for what I share here, and they'll be expanded just a little bit more, but still simple for that graphic form that you'll get on the newsletter.

1. Number one, a pause in your career doesn't mean a pause in your worth. Number two, if you feel stuck, it might be deeper than logistics. Number three, wanting more doesn't make you ungrateful. It makes you human. Number four, you might already know the next step. You just need to trust yourself. And number five, you don't have to choose between who you were and who you are.

Again, to get the slightly more expanded progress pointers, sign up for the [email protected] slash [00:38:00] newsletter. This podcast is listener supported. Members of the Supporters Club. Make my work at About Progress free and available to all. Being a member of the Supporters Club means you get access to three levels of exclusive benefits From more time to more content with me, you can check out all those benefits and sign up at about progress.com/support.

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Thank you so much for listening. Now go and do something with what you learned today.

Monica Packer: a.

Kate: way in, in a variety of ways. Like, financially, I, like my husband's really stressed out lately with a lot of things. I would like to help lift [00:39:00] his. Bless you. Excuse me. I'd like to help lift his, um, burden in that way a little bit.

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