Letting People In: Easy Hosting Ideas for Busy, Overwhelmed Women || with Brittney Hanks

Lately, I've been pushing myself to step out of my comfort zone and build connections through hosting. As an introvert, it’s been easier for me to stay in my comfort bubble, especially after the habit of isolation I developed during the pandemic. But I realized that having people physically in my space, sharing laughs and stories, truly enriches my life.

I’ve been inspired by today's conversation with Brittney Hanks, who reminded me that hosting isn’t about perfection or entertainment, but creating a space for genuine connection. It's been refreshing to see the connections strengthen and new friendships begin. If you’re like me, start with something manageable, put it on your calendar, and savor the rewarding experience of opening your home and heart to others.

Here to Stay Drive: join the ⁠Supporters Club⁠ to keep About Progress around for good + participate in a whole month of special prizes. A little from many makes this work sustainable!

Book Launch Committee ⁠aboutprogress.com/bookcommittee

About a few other things...

Sign up for the Go Getter Newsletter to get Progress Pointers in your inbox every Wednesday.

You can listen to the episode below, on Apple Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast app. If you like the show please share it, subscribe, and leave a review! 

 SHOW NOTES
Brittney's Instagam, Website, Cookbook
Access exclusive supporter benefits
Sign up for the next Sticky Habit Intensive
Book Launch Committee
Leave a rating and review for the podcast!
Lend your voice and experience + be featured on the show HERE
Join Monica on Facebook and Instagram
Songs Credit: Pleasant Pictures Music Club

Transform your space now. Go to https://www.quince.com/monica for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns; Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home; Join Masterclass for 15% off at masterclass.com/progress

TRANSCRIPT

Brittney Hanks: I feel like hosting and gathering is something that you don't realize how much you miss it and need it until you kind of start building it back into your life.

And even right up until it starts, you may feel like, Ugh, why am I doing this? But every time when people leave after I've hosted or gathered I'm so recharged by that. I'm so grateful that I did it. I'm glad that I followed through. I'm glad I didn't back out, and then it feels easier to do the next time.

 

 

Monica Packer: Hi, this is Monica Packer and you're listening to about progress where we are about progress made practical.

As someone who is getting more and more introverted with age, I can honestly tell you that I could go months without seeing or talking to people outside of my family and be totally fine, except. I recently discovered that may not be true.

This past fall, one of my kids took part in his school play, and since we were new to the school, I had no idea the legacy that the school holds of having amazing productions, ones that require a tremendous amount of creativity and labor, all by mom volunteers as the play grew closer and my realization grew

of just how big of a deal this thing is. I tried to raise my hand more and more to contribute in whatever way I could, even though it may have not been nearly as much as others, and as I did so I found something surprising, a community for me. I realized the truth then about myself, my introversion combined with COVID and the stressful years that followed, including busy times with our family and major life transitions all set me up to live on a proverbial island.

One that was understandable if not even helpful for certain times, but even the small glimpse into a potential community that I could call my own. Made me realize that it was time to get off my island. It was time to let people in. To do that. I am challenging myself this year to do that more literally by inviting people into my home.

Thanks to my island living, I am not a confident hostess. Never have been all of my progress over perfection. Principles go out the window when I know people are coming over and I become hyperfocused on things that ultimately don't matter. Mostly the cleanliness of my home, but I also don't come by hosting naturally.

My brain doesn't come up with themes, essential activity, or even a main reason to host. I blank out on what to serve and how to do so what kind of conversations to hold once guests arrive and how to not be focused on the things I wasn't able to get done before they arrived.

Martha Stewart level pressure blooms and it often feels easier to stay on my island. Over the years of this work with about progress, a common issue this community shares often with me is their profound loneliness. Women desire for more connection, but they feel overwhelmed and tired and anxious about how to reach out, how to let others in. And yes, I'm speaking both literally and figuratively.

If you're in this boat to help you and to help myself, I invited my friend Brittney Hanks to come on the podcast to talk about hosting for the Insecure hostess. Brittney shares why hosting isn't about entertaining or having a perfect home, but about creating space for real connection. We talk about the very real obstacles that hold so many women back from perfectionism and social anxiety to food prep and how stress

and Brittney shares practical, doable ways to host that actually fit real life. If you're not naturally someone who has people over, but who wants to host more? If you're someone who desires deeper relationships without adding on more pressure, you are going to love this conversation.

Brittney Hanks is the founder of Home and Kind, a lifestyle brand rooted in helping women simplify the everyday work of caring for a home and family. She's the author of multiple bestselling books, including her newest release, A Guide to Hosting through her work and as a mom of four, Brittney focuses on reducing the mental load of meal planning, hosting, and home life by offering practical systems, realistic recipes and encouragement that meets women where they are.

Brittney believes hosting can be a source of joy rather than stress. And that opening your door, however, and perfectly can create powerful moments of belonging. That interview is coming up after Quick Big for our sponsor. And do be sure to stay to the end so I can give you an update on how my first hosting duties went this year with those very same moms who inspired me to get off my island in the first place.

 

Monica Packer: This month I'm running here to stay the 250 supporters drive. This is a community effort to help about progress, not just reach its 10 year anniversary this fall, but to truly be here, to stay, to keep this podcast running at a bare bones sustainable level, covering things like hosting, editing, and production, not including paying me.

We need to reach 250 supporters. That's the number that allows the show to remain free for everyone without putting episodes behind a paywall or dramatically increasing our ads. Joining starts at just $2 a month, and it really does make a big difference. Supporters get access to things like quarterly ask me Anything, nights, a private reading diary and our yearly garden party, plus more at higher levels. For my private premium ad free side podcast, more personal and twice yearly exclusive online gatherings, including a private workshop and a book club

just to make this extra fun this month, new supporters are receiving surprise. Thank you gifts, and I'm raffling off. Favorite thing, packages every week drawn from all supporters. You can see the prizes and sign up at about progress.com/support. If this podcast has ever helped you feel less alone or a little more grounded,

this is a meaningful way to help keep it going, and if supporting financially isn't possible right now, listening, sharing, and leaving a review truly helps. More than you know, you can sign up for the Supporters Club at about progress.com/support, and thank you for helping make about progress here to stay.

 

Monica Packer: Brittney Hanks a warm welcome to about progress. I believe I should say, a return to about progress.

But you've always

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: and willing to, to, to visit our community, and I'm grateful for that. We're gonna be talking about something that I hear from a lot of women. They want to do more, but they have a lot of obstacles to making it possible. And it's about hosting people, but less than hosting slash entertaining, which I. Actually hate that word to tell you. I hate that word entertaining. It

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: fu. It's actually more about connection and we live in such a tumultuous world right now, and I would say it's always felt that way, I'm sure, but it feels even more disconnected than ever it just kind of feels easier. And simpler to just do our own things, to stay in our own homes, to not let people in. I know I feel that way. That's kind of my status quo. Why do you think it matters that we welcome people into our homes and, and I would say we let people in like figuratively too.

Brittney Hanks: Yeah, I think it matters a lot. I think back to the times of the the pandemic where everything was shut down, right? And we were just closed off in little families. And in the beginning it was crazy and there were so many unknowns, but it was like.

Oh, all of a sudden we have nothing on our schedules. We can just be at home as a family. So it felt, it felt nice for a little while

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Brittney Hanks: I know it was, it was different all over the country and world. But I live in North Carolina and we were pretty shut down for many, many months. Um, some of my kids didn't go to school for almost two years.

Um.

Monica Packer: Wow.

Brittney Hanks: And so it was, it was a long dragged out time. And I think one thing that I came away from that experience was realizing how much we need people and how much we need face-to-face contact with people, how much it means to share a space with people other than just a digital or online space. And we incorporated a lot of things during that time.

Like my family was doing video calls and we were FaceTiming more often, which was good, but. There's just something about physically being with people that I think we need. I think we need, and I'm someone who's a little bit more introverted, and so I tend to not wanna be in, in spaces with tons of people all the time.

It kind of drains my energy and so I enjoy it, but I don't, sometimes I'm like, oh, something got canceled and I'm happy about it, but. I realized from that experience of being so secluded from people for so long that once we were kind of able to start having people back in our lives again, and that kind of started for us with my brother who lived here, and it was just like we clung to those experiences.

And it was something that I realized this is a vital part of, of living and, and being human, is that we need other people physically in spaces with us. Um, and I do think since then I've realized that that. Is just something that fills our lives with joy. And I also think because we live in a digital world where we're able to connect with people so easily on the internet, on social media, it, it's interesting to have like friends and family and even acquaintances who I only really see stuff that they post online and be, then being with them in a physical space can sometimes be a very different.

Feeling like some people are really outspoken online and you maybe see the kinds of things that they post and you're like, I don't think I have that much in common with this person based on who they are online. But then when I'm in a space with them and when I'm physically with someone, often you realize, oh, we're not that different.

Like, you know, may, maybe they're posting kind of their extreme opinions about things, but it's so much easier to have conversations, connect with people, see the humanness in people when you're physically together. You just can't get that when you're only interacting online. So I think it's super important.

Monica Packer: That is such a valid point, and one I never would've thought of, but I've had that experience many times of gathering with people that I thought were just too different than me. Even if it's just a

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: difference and realize, oh no, actually we all human and we all just need each other and we can learn from each other. feel like

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: know what it was like during COVID times, right. But. effects of it are pretty long reaching. You know, we hear about long COVID with health, but it's almost like our social lives have

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: I think that's me. I feel like I'm kind of waking up and realizing I, as an introvert, you said you are one too. It was really easy for me to move through that insular life. It wasn't easy in terms of what that entailed, but it felt less draining socially. Right. But I've been kind of waking up to being like, I. be alone I need to have other people, and I also need to learn from other people and be humbled by other people too. those who are in a similar position and they are feeling kind of insecure about hosting, how would you encourage them to still step out of that new comfort zone or maybe an old comfort zone they've had for a long time have people over.

Brittney Hanks: it can feel super overwhelming if you have not done it for a long time. Maybe it's been years since you've invited anyone over to your house, and I feel like there, there's different stumbling blocks for different people. For some people it's like actual kind of social anxiety.

I don't know as well how to converse with people, so that makes me nervous. Uh, maybe you don't feel like your home is in a place where you want to have people in it. Maybe you feel like it's too small or it's hard to keep it clean. Food is a big stumbling block for people. Like, what am I gonna make? I'm not a confident cook.

And so that is something that, you know, feels really overwhelming. So if you haven't hosted in a long time, I would encourage you to identify what your biggest stumbling block is. Like what of those things fills the most overwhelming to you? And then let's tackle that. So for instance, if you feel like. My house is too small to host another family and, and so I'm not confident in that and I just feel like I can't get over that.

Well, certainly there are probably, stories you're telling yourself about that, that I would say you can host in an apartment. We hosted people when we lived in a tiny basement apartment, we would still have people over. So some of it is just perception. But also if you feel like, okay, maybe I'll get to that place.

You, you can still host people or invite people to do something that's not at your house at all. Like you, you can meet up at a park, you can meet up for, games somewhere else. You can be, I mean, it's a little harder in the winter when you can't be outside, but there's, so I would say be creative. Rec centers, be creative with the spaces that you want to gather in if you feel like your house is a big stumbling block.

And then, for instance, if it's food, if it's like. I'm not confident with the food. Don't do a meal. When you're gathering people together or hosting people, I think the first thing we think is you have to invite someone over for dinner and you have to have a whole dinner. If that feels really overwhelming for you, then take away, remove that stumbling block and just have games and dessert.

It doesn't even have to be anything homemade. You could have the people that you're inviting bring a snack to share. You could just have popcorn and candy out, and everyone kind of gets a little plate. So remove whatever the stumbling block is. If it is, I kind of have this social anxiety around, what am I gonna say?

I, I'm not great at conversation. I feel like I'm out of practice with how to talk to people. Then choose an event where maybe there's. A game picked out already for you, or even there's so many great resources for like, grab a bunch of conversation starters, you know, and maybe you're going through those.

Like there's definitely ways that you can have activities or have things planned so that you don't feel like you're just. Left with the responsibility of carrying a conversation if maybe that is your stumbling block. So that's kind of the thing that I would say for people who feel really overwhelmed, really think through it and think about what is the main thing that's holding me back from hosting or gathering people.

And then just remove that stumbling block and make it really easy for yourself, um, and be creative, um, in how you're going to host and gather people so that you feel like you can do it. And honestly. It's usually that first time of doing something that is really overwhelming, but the more you do it, the easier it gets and you kind of realize, oh, that wasn't as overwhelming as I thought it would be.

Now I'm a little bit more confident. Now I can do it again next time. You know, even better,

 

Monica Packer: So I am married to a quiet extrovert, like I'm a loud introvert and I'm married to a quiet extrovert. So

Brittney Hanks: I.

Monica Packer: having people over. And the way we've kind of jumped over all of my hurdles, which I would say all of the bub when you,

Brittney Hanks: Yeah, and a lot of people feel that way.

Monica Packer: I definitely feel that way. It's um, we do a dessert night.

Brittney Hanks: Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: just, I like baking, so I just bake a dessert or two, and some people can bring one or not, and that's it. They just come for that and we usually gather on the counter, and

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: But as you're going through those obstacles, I realize my biggest obstacle, and I'm pretty sure this is gonna be shared with my community, That perfectionist who's still inside of me. I don't know if you remember that old video of this comedian, this male comedian who's acting like a mom, and people are coming over and he's like screaming and running around the house and like

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: to vacuum couches and, like, just, it's hysterical.

I turn into that person. I, I become like a, people can see that little bit of dust at the very top molding of our. Vaulted ceiling and I have to dust that now.

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: Can you speak to the recovering perfectionist who's suddenly like, my house has to be perfect. Like everything has to be perfect. It, it just brings out

Brittney Hanks: Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely a tendency and a huge stumbling block for a lot of people. In fact, I've done many polls in my stories to ask people what their biggest stumbling block is, and I was actually shocked to find that one of the biggest things that people, shared is they were worried about getting their house clean.

And I did not expect that. I thought number one would be like food, you know?

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Brittney Hanks: but it wasn't even the size of the house. It wasn't, you know, of course all of those things can be stumbling blocks, but I was shocked at how many people, uh. We're really worried about getting their house clean to the, to the level that they'd want it to be clean.

And also when you're still living there, right? Like if you have little kids that are constantly pulling out things, it's really hard to get your house to a place where there's nothing out in the space that you want to gather in because people are still living there. Um, and I think honestly, that is more of just like a mental hurdle that you have to get over because

a lot of people tend to want to have the space perfectly clean when you're hosting, but I would encourage you to think about times when people have hosted you. Do you remember dust in the corner? Do you remember a little stack of toys Out? Like, no. People are not remembering those things. You don't remember those things about when you go to someone's house.

Um, you're, you're gonna go away remembering how you feel. And honestly, I think this is an important thing to remember as someone who's hosting, because the energy that you. Bring to a gathering is the energy that everyone else is gonna feed off of. So if you've ever walked into someone's house and they're super frazzled and they're walking around grabbing stuff, and they're apologizing, they're constantly apologizing.

Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. My toddler just grabbed at the, this was clean five minutes ago. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't have time to dust those shelves. Like, please don't look over there or,

Monica Packer: Brittney.

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: I'm just sitting here and like, oh, that's me.

Brittney Hanks: as someone who's walking into that energy, it makes you feel uncomfortable. And, and also the host is pointing out things that you would not have noticed, like the the second someone says, oh my goodness, I'm so sorry about that mess in the corner. Where are you gonna look? You're gonna look at the mess in the corner.

Like you're actually drawing extra attention to the things that you're self-conscious about, when honestly, someone is not gonna care or notice about that and, and the energy of like a frazzled, you know, I'm stressed out right now. I'm trying to get my house in order over apologizing for things. It just kind of brings a difficult energy that you don't wanna have.

Like you want someone to walk into your house and you want them to feel comfortable, and you have to lead with that. Like if you're, if you're comfortable, if you're confident, if you're not stressed out, if you're not apologizing, then they're going to come in with that same energy and. My friend was telling me this story recently, 'cause we were talking about hosting and she was saying they went to a lunch at this older woman's house.

And as soon as they walked in, the woman said, uh, I'm gonna tell you right now that I do live here. And she just left it at that and it was kind of messy and like cluttered in some places, but she just said that and then moved on. And I think we all know that, right? That like we live in these spaces, they don't need to be perfect, but.

You know, you as the host want to come in with an energy of just, I wanna gather you in. I want you to feel comfortable here. I want this to feel like a time when we're able to connect with each other. But if your mind is on the house and how it's imperfect or how it's messy, then it's gonna be hard to create the type of feeling and environment that you want.

So it's hard. It's hard to get out of that zone, but I think you just have to do the best you can to get it to the state where it's at. But as soon as people are getting ready to come, you just kind of have to like leave things as they are and show up with the energy that you want people to kind of mimic in that environment.

Monica Packer: Such great tips and I, I have to say, I gotta be a little kinder to myself 'cause I'm like, that was me more, I would say 10 years ago I have been practicing being okay with people coming over and not having repainted the moldings in our entire

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: room. Which

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: I have done. Um, I, not trying to make this a confessional episode, but this is so helpful. I want to hear some more of your practical tips, 'cause I know you're full of them. Uh, for the people who are ready to try to practice, to let people in, any other things that can help make that easier and more of a pleasant experience for them and for their guests too.

Brittney Hanks: so a few things I thought of and the first we've kind of talked about, but if you're new to hosting or if you're feeling really over overwhelmed by it, start super small. Don't feel like you have to invite five families over for a full dinner. Start really, really small and something that feels doable, even if.

Maybe you're intimidated by having like a whole family over have. If you have kids, have them invite a few friends over and practice on kids. You know, like they're, often maybe in our minds a little less judgmental or maybe that feels a little less overwhelming to you. So be like, okay, I'm gonna start practicing hosting by having.

You know, a couple of my kids invite over three or four friends. I can try out this Brownie recipe. I'm gonna set out some games, and that's like a good practice run. Um, so start really small in something that doesn't feel overwhelming to you. And my second tip is to pick one anchor thing, is what I'm gonna call it.

And then simplify everything else. For instance, if you're choosing a game night , the thing that you put your energy into to be a really fun game, then put your energy into like finding the perfect game. Maybe it's a game that like you need to cut out little strips of paper for, and you have some things that you're gathering around the house.

So put your energy into that one thing, which is for this, in this instance, picking the perfect game, and then just get store-bought treats for everything else. Maybe you're hosting a dinner. And it feels really overwhelming to like, make everything from scratch. Pick one anchor thing. Maybe that's the main dish.

Maybe you have this really great roast recipe that you've made over and over again. You know, it's a crowd pleaser. You know how to make it so it's, it doesn't feel overwhelming. Focus on that one main dish. And then everything else. Keep it super simple. Buy a salad, you know, a pre-made salad kit. Get rolls that all you have to do is throw 'em into the oven, like simplify everything except the one anchor thing that you wanna put your time and energy into.

Because often we try to do it all, like even in one meal, maybe you're trying, you're like, okay, I'm gonna make this roast, but also I really wanna make these homemade rolls and I really should do a homemade salad. Like we kind of think everything has to have like our full effort and energy. So just pick one thing that you want to be your anchor thing and simplify everything else around it.

Um, and then my third tip is if you can do it ahead of time, do it ahead of time. So little things add up and I feel like that's what causes a lot of stress right before the event. So it could be, you know, if you're doing a game that you had to cut strips of paper for, for instance, do that the day before.

Like, sure, it only takes five to 10 minutes, but just do it and get it done. And then it's one thing that you don't have to do right before the event. I just went to something, uh, a fun like book swap and soup swap, um, party that my friend Katie hosted and she. Cleaned her half bath that the guests were gonna be using the day before.

And then she put a little sticky note on the door that said, don't use. So she didn't want anyone in her family to be going into that bathroom, and it was just like one less thing that she had to do right before the event. So anything you can do in advance. Do it in advance, because like I said, it's all those little things that add up that cause that last minute stress that you're like, oh, I was gonna bring out a basket for the shoes and shoot, I didn't get an extra, you know, thing of toilet paper for the bathroom.

Like, all those little things don't take a lot of time, but if you can do it ahead, do it. And then you'll, you'll realize right before the event, you'll kind of be like, oh, like I've already done all this. Wait, is there something I should be doing? I'm feeling kind of relaxed, like,

Monica Packer: like

Brittney Hanks: just get it all done in advance so that.

You're relieving a lot of that last minute stress if you can. , And then the last thing is to

Monica Packer: to,

Brittney Hanks: repeat the same kind of gathering. I think sometimes we feel like, okay, well I already like, I love how you said that you invite people over for dessert and you can just do that again and again. Like once you feel like you're in a good rhythm with that, just invite different people.

So if you feel like, okay, something that works well for me right now is, um, an afternoon. Like brunch with friends or something like then, then do that and do it again and just invite a few different people every time. Like you don't have to be hosting all different types of events, and I feel like that will really help you build up your confidence until you maybe do wanna branch out.

But if it's. Inviting people over for dessert on a Sunday night, then just do that. And you can make the same thing every time. Like if you find a really great cookie recipe, just make the same recipe. You don't have to reinvent the will. You can just invite different people and keep it simple. And then you're gonna get better and better at doing that same gathering each time.

So don't feel like you need to come up with different things. Just repeat the same kinds of gatherings.

 

If You haven't heard,

I spent all of 2025 writing a book. and I'm so proud to say that my first draft of the manuscript has officially been submitted. There is so much work to come and the book is set to release in the fall of 2026. However, we have a new title, And with that, a way for you to get first access to what that new title is, as well as the first peak at the cover and to get exclusive behind the scenes virtual online events, celebrating its launch to act as , grassroots publicity, and to potentially be an advanced reader as well.

To get access to all of that, you simply need to be part of the free book launch committee. You can sign up at about progress.com/book committee. I've been sending out newsletters with updates. And some juicy behind the scenes, such as lately. The good news I got and the bad news I got, which is now turning into not so bad news.

And actually I think it's gonna be great news in the long run, and I'd love for you to take part again to get access to the newsletter and everything else I just shared. Go to about progress.com/book committee

 

Monica Packer: Each one of those is so, so helpful. Uh, I feel like after rinsing and repeating for almost a decade with a dessert night, I am starting to branch out and I'm gonna pull up

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: quick. I'm pulling up your beautiful new book because I wanna talk about the ideas that you have in here specifically. I'm stealing one of your ideas. You talked about having an anchor. I

Brittney Hanks: Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: in here were the surprising anchors for me, like. The one I'm hosting, this is what I'm doing. I'm hosting your soup swap next week. And that's a branch out for me. But how I was

Brittney Hanks: Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: like, oh, a theme for winter, like a seasonal thing like, and that seems easy enough because people can bring things and I already know what soup I am good at making and the bread I'm good at making. So just that ideas in there were so great. I would love to have you share. some that you especially love from that book, so they can get kind of a starting point there that they're like, oh, that sounds fun. I wanna do that party, or that

Brittney Hanks: Yeah, and, and you bring up a good point that sometimes the stumbling block for people is. What do I host? Like just figuring out something and having kind of a theme to an event where it's like, okay, I know I can invite someone over for dinner, but what other things could I bring people together for? So that was one of the reasons why I wrote the cookbook, is to, to just give people a bunch of ideas.

So I've got my copy here. I've got my pink sticky notes at the top,

Monica Packer: Love

Brittney Hanks: um, with a few that I wanted to talk about, and I really tried. So we, um, with this cookbook, we divided it out seasonally. Uh, many of the events you could host at any time of year, but I just thought that was kind of a fun way to organize it.

And so we have six events for each season, so there's 24 different events.

Monica Packer: Amazing.

Brittney Hanks: the cookbook that go through, um, exactly what to do to prepare for the event, what supplies you need in advance. It has recipes for each event in the back. Tips for hosting a timeline, I really wanted to make it as easy for people as possible, and I also wanted to include a big variety of events in here, so some that.

Before inviting other families over some that would be more for kids, some that could be for just women, um, some that are in your house, some that are not at your house. And even all of the events, we labeled them according to a level of involvement. So like if you wanted to start super low, we have like either one, two, or three, and three is kind of the more involved events that maybe you're making several recipes take a little bit more time.

But the one, um, level of involvement, the first level of involvement events are definitely. The easiest. So that's a good place to start, but a few that I wanted to highlight, and honestly, whether you have the cookbook or not, these could be great ideas that are very easy to host.

Monica Packer: you pause real quick though, 'cause

I

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: I don't feel like you have a guide to

Brittney Hanks: Oh,

Monica Packer: and, and,

Brittney Hanks: okay.

Monica Packer: you just shared about the ease and who it's for. Like you have keys for that too. So if you flip through, you can look and see like, oh, that party is for kids

Brittney Hanks: Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: on the scale of like, easiness is this.

So, and, and the seasonal categorization, I personally really, really, really appreciated because that's what I often miss. Okay. Now please tell us some of your favorites.

Brittney Hanks: Yeah, so a couple that I wanted to share that are really fun and honestly pretty easy to execute. The first one is this Sunday, Sundaes. So we kinda talked about something similar to this. If you are not a confident cook, you don't wanna do a full meal. This one is super easy. The whole idea is kind of like a Sunday dessert night, but you're just making ice cream sundaes.

And so we do have some recipes in here for if you wanted to make like a hot fudge and a caramel sauce. We have recipes for those. These are really easy. You can make 'em in advance and just heat 'em up, um, the day of. But that's just a really fun. Low entry doesn't require a lot of prep or cooking ahead of time.

You could invite other families over for that. You could have your kids bring friends. Like it works for a lot of different audiences as well. Um, and then another one that's really fun is a book swap. So this one is more geared towards, um, you're getting a bunch of your girlfriends together to do this. I love reading.

I know you love reading as well, so it's fun to gather other readers and, you know, trade book ideas. So this one is not a full meal. It's more of like an appetizer, like get appetizers and then everyone comes with a wrapped book and they write like a little quote or you know, tease from the book on the outside.

And then you swap books. So you're gonna go away with, you know, someone else's book. And it's just a fun gathering, uh, for women. And honestly, with something like this too, if you are not a confident cook, especially. Ask people to bring stuff to share. Like usually when you invite people to an event, um, or a little gathering like this, people are gonna ask, can I bring anything?

And honestly say yes. Like unless you are someone who loves cooking and you want to provide all the food, and that's fun for you, allow people to help. Like, they're usually just so excited to be invited. People are more than happy to bring something, even if they're bringing something store bought to share.

Um, so if that is kind of a stumbling block for you, is feeling like you have to prepare a whole table of food, invite guests to bring something, and I guarantee they're more than happy to do that. So that is a fun one. And then another one that's really fun for kids is pancakes and pajamas.

Monica Packer: So

Brittney Hanks: So this is a morning event.

You could do it on a Saturday morning. Maybe it's a day they don't have school. And I kind of love doing stuff in the morning sometimes. Sometimes we feel like it has to be in the evening. A lot of times by the time the evening rolls around, I'm so exhausted

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Brittney Hanks: a mom, but it's like thinking about hosting something and.

In the evening feels overwhelming, but this is like, okay, kids are coming in their pajamas. You're having pancakes. It's just a fun, easy gathering. Honestly, you could invite families, you could invite girlfriends. A lot of these, you know, could be customized for whatever audience you want. And we have tips in here for how, you know, you can make the pancakes ahead of time.

You keep just, you know, warm 'em up in the oven. So a lot of this can be prepped ahead of time as well, but it's kind of a fun and more unique idea. Um, for a little hosting event. And then another one, which I really love this time of year, is hot cocoa and Hua. So if you haven't heard of Hua, which it, it does not, it's not pronounced how you would think, but it's a, a Danish word for just.

Finding ways to be really cozy during the winter season so it can feel really depressing when the sun's not out for very long, when it's really cold outside. And so Hua is all about like embracing that cold season and finding ways to just get comfort out of that. So the Hot coa and Hua, I have a really great, one of my favorite recipes for a hot cocoa that you can just make on your stove and just keep it simmering.

Invite some friends over to work on a puzzle. And they have the hot chocolate. You are doing a puzzle together. If you have crafting friends, maybe they're bringing over a craft that they're working on and just sit and chat and light some candles, have some blankets. So easy, requires such little effort from you.

Um, and honestly too, when you're hosting, especially if you're hosting in your house, sometimes we feel like. I have to get my whole house cleaned. But you really don't think about the spaces people are gonna be in and you know, you want one bathroom to be like stocked and make sure there's toilet paper and all of that kind of stuff, but like people aren't going into bedrooms.

Don't worry if those are cleaned. All the beds don't need to be made. You know, just focus on the small area where you're gonna be hosting the people who are coming to that event and let everything else go. Anyway, that was kind of a tangent, but those are four events in the cookbook that I feel like are just fun and unique.

Anyone could host those and they feel a little more, you know, easy to execute than some of the more labor intensive ones.

 

Monica Packer: It's a testament to what you did. That each one of those are ones that I could raise my hand to and say like, I can do that. And that actually

Brittney Hanks: Yeah.

Monica Packer: fun and

Brittney Hanks: Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: And not overwhelming. I think a lot of us fall for Martha Stewart. Quote, unquote entertaining kind of idea of how it has to

Brittney Hanks: Yep.

Monica Packer: what you've done with this book is. You've not only made it, I would say making it more doable sounds almost like I'm patting it on the head. It's not that you, you have made it more doable, but you've also made it more, within reach and you've made it more possible and exciting for people who are ready to let other people in. And again, that's to me is, is not just literal, it's figurative.

And it comes back to what this book really is about. It's about connection. I wanted to end with a final question, but before we do that, where can they get the book? And also where should they go to follow you and learn more from you?

Brittney Hanks: So the book is now available for purchase. We have it at homeandkind.com, and people can also grab it on Amazon. So just search for a guide to hosting on Amazon, or you can grab [email protected]. And I am mostly on Instagram. My handle's home and kind. And you can follow along there for more hosting tips and easy ideas for your family.

Monica Packer: Mm-hmm. And just so everyone knows, I bought that by myself because I love Brittney's work and I always, the first in line when anything else comes out, I'm like, me, me, me, me, me. I want that.

Brittney Hanks: You're so nice.

Monica Packer: And I can also say it's already dirty, which tells you like it's immediately been put to you. So I'm like, let's get this thing open, let's crack it open and figure out what we're doing.

So I'll let you know how my, my soup swap goes that I'm

Brittney Hanks: Yes, I hope it goes great.

Monica Packer: And another thing too is you have resources like playlists and invitations that they can make on Canva. I use that to make my digital invite that I sent to all the women that volunteered in a play with me for one of our kids.

I'm just welcoming you. To my home,

Brittney Hanks: Oh, fun.

Monica Packer: know, to do so. That helps too, again for people like me.

The final question today is what is one small way listeners can take action on what they learned?

Brittney Hanks: So I would challenge everyone who's listening to pull out your calendar right now. Look at the next three to four weeks. And put a date. Write down right now a a date for hosting something. And again, start very small, but just put it on the calendar because your calendar's gonna fill up. Life's gonna get busy.

You just need to start. Start with something, again, very small. Maybe it's just a Sunday, Sundaes, maybe it's a dessert night. Maybe it's inviting a few friends over, even without any food to just like swap some books or swap some recipes. Uh, but put it on your calendar now because it's really something. I feel like hosting and gathering is something that you don't realize how much you miss it and need it until you kind of start building it back into your life.

And even right up until it starts, you may feel like, Ugh, why am I doing this? I don't wanna do this, I just wanna cancel. But every time when people leave after I've hosted or gathered, um, I, I'm so recharged by that. I'm so grateful that I did it. I'm glad that I followed through. I'm glad I didn't back out, and then it feels easier to do the next time.

So that's what I'm challenging you to do, is put something on your calendar. Now, you can work through the details as as it gets closer what exactly you wanna do, who you wanna invite. Start small, but just start now.

Monica Packer: Oh, this is so good. Brittney, thank you for not only coming and being so prepared. I mean, it was so clear how much you really thought about how you wanted to communicate with this community. But this work is just so, so beautiful and meaningful and something we all need. So I really appreciate you and that you would be here with us today.

Brittney Hanks: Oh, thank you. Well, thanks for having me. It's often, I feel like with the cookbooks and the content I share, I'm sharing it and writing it just as much for myself because I feel the same as I'm sure many in your community that I. Sometimes feel like things have to be perfect in order to do them. I'm overwhelmed.

There's stumbling blocks that I have, like I'm not writing these books because I'm an expert at them. I'm writing these books because I need 'em. I am in my own audience. I'm someone who needs. Help and inspiration. And so it, um, comes from a place of, of wanting to be better myself, not as like, I am an expert at these things, but these are things that I think we all need.

And I feel like, uh, gathering is so important. And so honestly, this cookbook has been, such a needed one for me to write, and it's helped me want to host and feel like a confident host even more.

Monica Packer: You're doing it, I can confidently tell you that you're, you're doing it, and that all comes across. So thank you again.

Brittney Hanks: Thanks.

Monica Packer: You did great. That was truly amazing. I, I really appreciate that.

 

I hope this episode gave you the hug and kick in the pants you need to grow. I'll announce you the progress pointers. These are the notes I took so you don't have to, and those in my newsletter. Get them in an expanded graphic form each week. You can sign up at about progress.com/newsletter.

Number one, name your biggest hosting hurdles and either remove them or make them easier. Number two, hosting doesn't have to mean dinner. Number three, perfection kills connection. The energy of the home matters more than its appearance. Number four, choose one anchor and simplify everything else.

And number five, start small. Repeat what works, and build confidence over time. Again, an expanded version of this will be in the newsletter. Get it at about progress.com/newsletter. A quick update for me. I did host my soup swap. As I mentioned to Brittney, I used the graphic they provide editing it for my own details, and I was still pretty stressed about people coming over. I'm not gonna lie, I did my best to not turn into that male comedian we talked about.

There was some of that, but at the end of the day, it was a lovely evening. I was really glad we did it. And next I am hosting another girls gathering with women that I used to live with in the Bay Area and we're just going to dinner. So I'm trying to simplify that way too. And I do hope that the tips Brittney shared with you can inspire you to get off of your island as well.

I've learned over the years. A big part of how we find friends is by being the one who invites first over and over again. And that's not true for everyone and for every situation. I know there's many women who try and they keep getting rejected.

And if that's your situation, I am truly sorry. I know your people are out there, and you will find them as you keep trying and you are worthy of that kind of connection too. And for many of us, it really does come down to being willing to open our door.

This podcast is listener supported, we are right in the middle of our here to stay 250 supporters drive in our pursuit to ensure about progress. Doesn't just make it to its 10 year anniversary but make it so it's here to stay. You are a necessary part of that work, starting at just $2 a month and our cap is $7 a month.

You get access to three potential levels of. Benefits from more time to more content with me, and this makes about progress free, no added paywall, no additional ads so that we can continue this work together. Truly, it's always been us together. You can check it all out, including the surprises. I have been doling out all February long by going to about progress.com/support.

And if you can't support the show financially, please know the number one way we grow is. Is by word of mouth. I would love for you to tell a friend about the podcast and a bonus step there. And also for free is to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. And doing so automatically submits you to the annual favorite things giveaway.

I host each fall. Thank you so much for listening. Now go and do something with what you learned today.

 

​

Monica Packer: By the way, is, is this picking up my mic? Can you hear me tapping?

Brittney Hanks: Yeah, I can hear you great. Can you hear me? Is that good with the

Monica Packer: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Brittney Hanks: Okay, perfect.

Monica Packer: because the interview I aired this week with Jennifer Finlays and Fife,

Brittney Hanks: Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: decided to pick up from the computer, so it just sounds not great.

Brittney Hanks: Oh,

Monica Packer: great.

Brittney Hanks: oh, shoot.

Monica Packer: yeah, we're, we're good.