From Fear to First Steps: How to Start a Dream Even When You're Scared || coaching call with Abbie

In this episode, I coach Abbie, a woman eager to launch her own creative business but held back by the fear of both potential failure and success. We delve into why starting something personal feels so vulnerable, how people-pleasing can hinder self-trust, and the reality of moving forward imperfectly even when scared. If you've felt stuck at the starting line of your dreams, this conversation offers clarity, comfort, and actionable steps to help you move forward.

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TRANSCRIPT

Monica Packer: [00:00:00] I think people often don't realize they're afraid. They just feel stuck in the decision making process or the overwhelm, and they don't realize it's actually fair. So one that awareness is really important, but two, a lot of people think they're afraid of failure when they're actually afraid of success.

Two,

Hi, this is Monica Packer and you are listening to about progress where we are about progress made practical.

When I first began this podcast, I was not scared at all. That fear came later. When I began about progress, I was already in the space of creating for creatings sake, and that's because 11 months prior to beginning about progress, I did start something that I had been terrified of doing for literal years.

Writing online? Yes, a blog. For years prior, eight years to be exact, I had sat in really loving the [00:01:00] blogging space and wanting to do so as well, but not because I was afraid.

I thought I wouldn't be good enough. I wondered what would happen if nobody read it. I wasn't sure I had the writing chops that anyone would be interested in what I had to say. I had this fear of putting in all the work and, and not going anywhere and weirdly, the idea of starting and then stopping was even more scary to me than beginning in the first place. But when I finally did several years too late, by the way, for thinking industry-wise, I found that some of my fears were realized, but most were not.

And beginning my blog, which was called about progress, gave me the courage to try more and to try scared and all of that trying. Is what finally led to the podcast. What if fear isn't a sign that you are not ready, but proof that [00:02:00] your dream matters?

Today you will hear me coach Abbie, a woman standing at the edge of a long held dream to begin her own creative business. But what's stopping her isn't a lack of skill. It's the fear of what potential failure and even success might mean about her. We dig deeply into why starting something personal can feel so vulnerable, how people pleasing holds us back from trusting ourselves and what it really looks like to messily move forward even when you're scared.

If you've ever felt stuck at the starting line of your own dream, this conversation will give you clarity, comfort, and the next small step you need to do something anyway. That coaching call is coming up after a quick break for our sponsors, including a very fun announcement.

Monica Packer: Abbie, thanks for doing this coaching call with me today. Oh, thank you for inviting me. Can you tell us a little bit about [00:03:00] you?

Abbie: Yes. I grew up in Pennsylvania on the east coast, and then I went to college, did all the normal things. I ended up getting married, then divorced, and I just needed a fresh start.

So I moved out to Utah about eight and a half, almost nine years ago, and it's been really great. I got my MBA at the UA few years ago. I see. Um, unfortunately during COVID, so that was hard, but very hard. Went away for spring break, it never went back. So, um. But it was great. Met some, some wonderful people there.

And I, I've just been kind of, um, jumping around since then. And, uh, most recently I've moved to St. George and, uh, trying to figure out where to go next, I guess.

Monica Packer: Got it. Yeah. So you're kind of contemplating some shifts in your life, and that's what you wanna come and talk to me about today, right? Yes. Okay.

So tell me more, like what, if you were to [00:04:00] phrase it as a question. What would that be? My

Abbie: question would be how do you push past the fear of a dream, I guess? Uh, I attended the Dreamers workshop and been kind of thinking about this. I have always wanted to be a small business owner. Um, but I, I, I'm afraid of any outcome honestly, of putting the work in and it's.

What if it works, then what's next? What if it doesn't work? Then what's next? Yeah. Kind of just even, even kind of getting past that point of just doing it because the fear is, is stopping me from even attempting what I really want.

Monica Packer: Got it. I'm really impressed that you already know that you're afraid of any outcome, and I'm sure you're like, wait, why is that impressive?

I think people often don't realize they're afraid. They just [00:05:00] feel stuck in the decision making process or the overwhelm, and they don't realize it's actually fair. So one that awareness is really important, but two, a lot of people think they're afraid of failure when they're actually afraid of success.

Two, and you've already pinpointed that about yourself. Success takes lots of work, right?

Abbie: Yeah. Yeah. And success can mean so many different things. I. Sometimes, I would say in my younger years, success would've meant like, oh, well then you become this big CEO of your own company. And so I'm like, well, if I can't get to CEO status, then what's the point of even trying?

But now it's like, oh, there's also different levels of success. And so it's just, it's scary because you're like, success can mean something different. What if that's not what I meant to happen, or things like that where it's just like, there's so many things,

Monica Packer: outcomes that I guess. Okay, good. That's the thing to think about too, is just like there, [00:06:00] there's no certainty in this path

Abbie: that I think that hits the nail on the head, honestly.

Monica Packer: Okay. I'm gonna ask you a dumb question then I'm gonna ask you more questions. The dumb question is, has there been certainty in your career in not owning your own business? Have you had certainty in your career?

Abbie: Absolutely not.

Monica Packer: Fascinating, huh? Okay. So because we know that, and you know that logically we kinda have to dig under these fears a little bit and the fears of uncertainty with it to really get at the root of what you actually are afraid of.

'cause it doesn't seem like you're afraid of the uncertainty of the outcomes and what they could be. You're afraid of something deeper. So can we go there? And that's where I was gonna ask you more questions.

Abbie: Absolutely. Yeah.

Monica Packer: We'll stick at the roots. We gotta excavate a bit. Hmm. I, I'm thinking two different ways we can do that.

I can [00:07:00] either just straight up ask you what are you afraid of and see what comes up. How about we start there and if nothing comes up, we'll try a different route. What are you afraid of?

Abbie: Yes. I would say that the first thought when you said, oh, I think there's something a little deeper here. Uh, I. In my mind, I was like, well, this is more personal.

This is more personal. This

Monica Packer: is the business. The fifth feels more personal. Is that what you're saying? Me

Abbie: being self-employed is more personal than just going to a company that's not a good fit.

That's what it feels like often. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Where I'm just like, this feels a little bit more like. Me being rejected if it doesn't work. Yeah, or a lot more judgment on me personally. Then if I attempt a job and then I'm like, you know, thank you for the opportunity. This is just not really what I want right now.

Maybe that's also a little bit more control too, because then I can just step away from this company. [00:08:00] Whereas if it's my small business. It's me. I can't go to me and say, you know, Abbie, this is just not what I want right now. Good luck. You know?

Monica Packer: Yeah. Oh, I can tell you I very much relate. This is something I have taught for years, that we have to detach our identity from our outcomes.

But what I don't often say is one of the biggest ways to challenge that belief is to have your own business that feels like an extension of you. So there's some wisdom in that fear. It puts you in a vulnerable position. Okay. We're gonna talk more about how, what to do with that wisdom though, so that you're not just leading by the fear side of it too.

Is there anything else that you're afraid of?

Abbie: Nothing that's necessarily coming. To mind other than I, I think, and this has just been something [00:09:00] that has been like a, a common theme just throughout my life too, of like, what if I put in all this work? Mm-hmm. And it doesn't work out, which yeah, logically I know that I would learn a lot, but there still is that rejection in there of like, Hey, you attempted this and it didn't, like you didn't make any money, or it just.

You didn't get anywhere with it. And so, and, and I think it's maybe you know, the other side of the coin of it's still a little bit of that rejection and tying the outcome to my self worth.

Monica Packer: Yeah, I think your initial answer was the core of the fear, right? And how all the other fears of like, what if I fail, what if I succeed?

And all the other branch out fears that go with it still all point back to that core fear of. Me like it's about me actually. Okay. So in order for us to get to a [00:10:00] place where you can be aware of that, but not letting it lead you in the lack of decisions or even the over deciding, you know, which we could do too.

Mm-hmm. Um. We have to get back what I said earlier about detaching your identity from your outcomes. And one of the most important ways I have found to do that with any woman, regardless of what they're working on, but including with only your own business, is you've got to get back to the heart of why that matters to you.

So maybe we can put you back into that workshop a little bit and. As you were, you know, participating in that workshop, there was a spark that came up for you. Can we lean into that a little bit and tell me more about like, what was that spark? What was the kind of feeling and why has this been a desire for you for a long time?

Abbie: There's been a little bit of work that I've just been doing, um. And my, and myself as well of just learning to [00:11:00] trust myself. Yeah. Um, which this is all related. Mm-hmm. I just like, what would happen if I did trust myself and, um.

Even just in small things, it can be a little difficult. So I think the workshop came just like at the, at the this point where I've been thinking a lot about this and, and it kind of made me realize you've been thinking a lot, Abbie, but yeah, you're not really moving and it's really hard to like direct a car if there isn't any movement.

Right? Like you, you can't really turn the steering wheel. When you're in park. Um, and so I think there was a little bit of that push of like, yes, you can sit and think and dream about it, but also part of the workshop was like, how are you gonna take action on it? Or how are you gonna just even just start?

And that is just [00:12:00] like it, it makes so much sense, but also again, it's a little scary of just like. You've been talking about trusting yourself. Why don't you try it? I was like, oh, wow. You know, never thought of that. Um, thought about everything else, but not that. Um, so I think that that's where it was. And, and I will say that after that workshop, I, I applied for my business license here and.

It was accepted this week and the email should have been exciting, but I was literally scared to death when I got the email of like, Hey, you're approved now. Now you've gotta do it. Kind of. You gotta just start somewhere. And so again, it's like that gave me a little push to do a little bit, but then I'm still like, whew.

Yeah. Okay. Like. I, I want this, and I, I kind of wanted this for a long time, but I'm a crafter, so like, it would be more of like a crafting business. And so that's, [00:13:00] that's an art form. And art is a little more emotional than just saying like bookkeeping, which I also do accounting too. So it's like if you don't like the numbers, the numbers are one plus one equals two colors you put together.

That's also, again.

Monica Packer: I can, I can see how both, like the desires, but also the fears relate to you. Mm-hmm. The desires to do this, it's like starting your own business is both a tool but also a test to advance your self trust and you're ready for that, but you haven't really done it before.

Why, why don't you trust yourself very much? Can we dig into that just a bit? Help me understand. Yeah. Um, what's been your history with that? Yeah. I've always been more of like a people pleaser. Um, more of like, oh, it's okay.

Abbie: Don't worry about [00:14:00] me. Um, but by doing that, I think I've had to. Put myself on the back burner even when somebody didn't ask me to. I just have, right? Like, yeah, oh, well, my friends need me, so I, you know, my stuff isn't important. I need to be there for them. Got it. No one's asked me to do this. I just do it because I'm like, that's what I'm supposed to do.

And so there is more of a natural tendency. Now that I've kind of taught myself to do that, leading up to this, I'm in mid thirties now, and you do that your whole life. That's second nature now of like things that you want are secondary to people, other people. And so coming back to, oh, you can take time out of your day to help yourself, it just doesn't feel natural sometimes.

Mm-hmm. Um. [00:15:00] And then I get very frustrated that I'm not where I wanna be, right? Because I haven't taken the time to, to, to help myself. Um, and so it kind of ends up being this downward spiral. Um, and I'm trying to reverse the spiral a little bit, but because I have the, you know, it's like your neuro pathways are just so strong of like, no.

Anything that's, you make sure nobody else needs anything first.

Monica Packer: So that's coming back to that core, and it seems to be the core is how you see yourself and Yeah. Trusting what you want, valuing what you want, because when, how you just described your people pleasing tendencies, it's a, it's a pattern of valuing yourself and what you want and what you need, and the dreams you have less in order to value [00:16:00] others.

It's like an either or thing. Like either I help other people or I value them and what they're going through and I devalue myself or I value myself and then I don't care about anyone else. It's like that paradigm is pretty strong.

Abbie: Yeah. That's kind of a black and white of like there's no middle ground kind thing.

Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: You just mentioned that downward spiral that that can take you on. I like that you already previewed something that I like to teach, that the spiral goes both ways. So just like you can spiral down, you can spiral up. I'll teach you more about how to do that in just a moment. But here's the thing about the spiral.

I didn't say you like just upshoot up. It's a spiral, meaning it's cyclical, it's messy. It involves revisiting things. It involves some failures or disappointments or frustrations, [00:17:00] but you're still spiraling upward. And then the more you stick with that and know that this is what it looks like to change, the more you stay going that direction, it matters more what direction you're going in the spiral than necessarily how it's looking on the outside.

Or even on the inside. So what I'm wanting to do is to help in this process of a business, it's actually about shifting which direction you're facing and being willing to create new patterns of self trust, self value and patterns of not an either or, but an and and valuing myself and others. I. I can move this direction, I can do these things and I can trust myself.[00:18:00]

How is that imagery helping you? What is it bringing up?

Abbie: It's very helpful because I feel like it's easier to chew on. We're, we're going to still. Like be in a spiral, but we're just going a different direction rather than like completely jump out of the cycle. Like, yeah, we're just not even gonna be in that at all.

That's such a bigger shift than like, Hey, we're just gonna change directions and we're going to be, it's still gonna be a cycle. So you already know what a cycle is. Yeah. Let's just use that knowledge instead of like everything that you're doing now, we're just gonna cut off and we're gonna try again. Um, that's harder.

It's like such a steeper hill to climb, I guess.

Monica Packer: I also think it makes it less personal. Mm-hmm. So when you have a frustration or a disappointment or make a mistake, you don't immediately [00:19:00] think you're doing it wrong and therefore set things wrong with you. It's more like, hey, this is the expected part of the process of getting better and of growing and of spiraling up.

So how can I work with this? But in a different way.

Let me teach you how to do that. Is that okay? Okay. Yeah. It really comes down to two big words and one is awareness, and the second is affirmation. Awareness is half the battle. Two, improving anything internally. About the way we wanna see ourselves in the world, or patterns of thought and behavior.

We're trying to shift it's awareness of what's going on in our head and in our body that are creating those patterns and that awareness can be applied to the bad patterns, like just being aware of them, but also can apply to when you're noticing. That you're actually making progress [00:20:00] in some good ways where you may have the same trigger, but you're choosing a different response.

So you may have the same trigger of someone being like, are you sure it's a good time to start your own personal, small business? Is it a good time to leave your job? And maybe the old, you would've been like spiraling down with that thinking. Oh, gosh, no. I, I'm not gonna be able to do this. And who do I think I am?

And the right, like, I don't have the capital for this. And who, you know, who's gonna pay for the bill? Like, you spiral down and you could have the same trigger and you're like, yeah, that's scary. See how it's not perfect? Like, no, be, be quiet. Like, I'm the best person in the world and I achieve everything I ever want.

And snow like, yeah, that's scary. That's scary. But I know who I am and I know why I'm doing this, and there are risks involved and I wanna be aware of them. I, I'm trying to spiral up, but I'm willing to still do this next step and this next step because I will regret more not [00:21:00] trying now, then I will, if I do try and it doesn't go great because I trust, I trust that it will lead me to the next thing and it will also help me rebuild my trust in myself.

Abbie: I, I like that mindset a lot. 'cause I, I will say that I feel like I am pretty self-aware on certain things. Mm-hmm. But like you were just saying, like, just saying like, oh yeah, that's hard. Okay. What's the next step then? If this is really what I wanna do, I have a purpose behind it, I have the need behind it.

Whereas before, like the, the, the other side where you're saying like, no, I'm great. I think there's been some times where I've, I've been like, I'm just gonna ignore. Mm-hmm. The risk, I guess. Yeah. Involved. Yeah. Because I don't wanna look at it because that's [00:22:00] scary. Mm-hmm. And so I'm just gonna pretend that it's not there.

Monica Packer: Yeah, it's an another either or paradigm again, right? Yeah. Yeah. So self-trust doesn't have to mean you're fear. Free self-trust doesn't mean that you won't have doubts or you won't make mistakes. Um, you're gonna make mistakes, you're gonna have fears, you're gonna do things wrong. And you know, so it doesn't have to be an either or or equation to earn the trust, uh, and to work with the risks and to be aware of them too.

So awareness was noticing. What's happening? What? What are the triggers in the environment or internally that create different thoughts? And then affirm is basically the process of how our thoughts and our behaviors affirm the thoughts that we are having with ourselves. So like in the spiral down, you're kind of affirming this identity in yourself by going that direction.

But in the reverse, you are affirming a different way of seeing yourself while still being aware of the truth. We're not gonna be Pollyanna. And neglect the truth. [00:23:00] There are risks to doing this. It is scary, and you're gonna have tough decisions, but being aware of those things doesn't mean you have to be led by them either, and you can affirm this trust that you're rebuilding as you go.

Mm.

One additional way to add to that affirmation piece is whenever you notice yourself afraid, but choosing to trust yourself anyway. When you make a hard decision or like anything that's reflective of, Hey, look, I can trust myself. Literally affirm it. Literally say, look at me. I can trust myself. That actually helps with this pattern.

It's, it's a, like you said, the neural pathways. This is literally the science to it. It will change the cells in your brain, even in affirming it. You are changing the, these patterns of these neural pathways so that you will be able to spiral up more naturally and [00:24:00] more sustainably over time too.

I like that. So I actually call that the progress cycle. It's spiraling up and um, but it can also, you know, can lead to spiraling down and it's not usually a concept I often teach in a shorter segment. 'cause it, it's kind of like one of those brain busters a bit. Mm-hmm. I think we're getting it though. It just comes back to if we're gonna even remove that cycle step.

It's just awareness and affirmation. So that's how you're gonna move through this with the fears intact. Let's go back to the why though. 'cause we're fleshing that out a bit. You had a personal why it's a, an ulti, it's like the ultimate tool and test of self-trust. But what else about having a business is meaningful to you and serves a larger purpose to you?

Abbie: I think the, the freedom to set my own schedule.

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Abbie: Um. And to be able to change and grow. [00:25:00] Yeah. Mainly the freedom, I guess. 'cause that's also the freedom and, and growth is the, you know, where do I wanna go with this? You know, if, uh, in two years I decide that, hey, I was making bags or something and I'm, I wanna change to a different craft or so, you know, or even like any, I mean even like bookkeeping, right?

Like my niche is. I wanna help small business owners or something like that, where I think sometimes in the corporate environment you can like climb a ladder, but you don't necessarily have as much freedom. If there's a morning that I wake up and I'm not feeling well, I don't wanna feel guilty or have to take PTO because I can't go into the office or mm-hmm.

Sign on or anything.

Monica Packer: That sounds like a good, a good value to lean on that why this matters to you. I also heard possibility in that that's something you seem to value. The possibility, the [00:26:00] openness of being able to not only have the flexibility with your time, but also the potential of what you could do with this and your ability to change course is actually a, a big draw.

I was kind of imagining you starting a, a crafting business of sorts and. Even though you were talking about fears, I actually labeled them as more of your why as well. You know, some of your fears, and this is more personal, but that's actually part of, I think what is drawing you to this work is it is more personal too.

Like that's actually a draw as well. Not for you, just you, but also for your clients to be able to do something that is not ego. Ego. I never can say this word. Let's say it egalitarian. Did I say it right? Sounds right. We'll see. Yeah. To not do something egalitarian or like practical, but actually like artistic and crafting it still being a value of helping them invest in themselves with their time.

And I don't know if it's you teaching people how to do things or you giving them products that just help them [00:27:00] value beautiful things, but that still is part of it, I think as well, like the opportunity to make things more personal and valuable just because they are. Does that sound right? Absolutely.

Abbie: Yeah. I just, I, I find it funny that like you're the second person, I think like in the last couple weeks that has mentioned like, oh, I can see that this is kind of the direction you're going when I didn't even really say that, where it's like, I would love to teach classes because I think that, anyway, the philosophy behind it, it was just making and creating is so fun and it can be freeing and, you know, spreading that joy almost of it just.

I guess I'm a little surprised because I'm like, I guess it just exudes when I'm talking, like that's really what I wanna do. I think you're like getting close to what your tagline is for your business. You're getting there. Something about that like we make for making sake the joy in making for making sake, or something like that.

Monica Packer: Anyway, strategy aside, that is still reflective of this is why [00:28:00] you're here. This is it. So I, I said this in another recent call that we, um, aired on the show. Like we have to get to the point where your desires outweigh your fears. And it doesn't mean the fears go away, it's just by a slight scale.

The desires just weigh a little bit more then the fears. If that's where you can get to, then you're able to still make progress in it. So in wording those things, how does that help you with that? Where you are in that teeter-totter, that scale actually.

Abbie: Even just putting it in like a scale situation seems much more manageable than just again, the cut and dry either or of just like get rid of all the fears first.

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Abbie: Then you can get there. But you know when it's a scale, like we'll just take one rock from one side, put it to the other for now, just do one. You know, one at a time. And even just saying that like, my blood pressure is like lower. [00:29:00] Yeah. Just like, just move one, or you know, put one on both sides. You have fear and desire rather than just fear.

Fear, fear, fear. Then it seems so uneven and almost impossible to get past.

Monica Packer: And oftentimes in dissecting the fears, you're actually gonna flip the coin and see what the desires are underneath it. Your fear of it being more personal is also your desire to do something more personal.

Abbie: I. Yeah,

Monica Packer: so I'm sure you may find others like that.

So, yeah, I, I love that image of putting a stone on each side, but in doing so, you actually are like, oh, wait a second. Even that fear stone has another desire, so I'm gonna still like half of that and put it over here, and it still helps you with that scale. Um, Michael Hyatt says, when you know your why, you'll know your way.

A lot of times we're at the start of something big like this and personal, we get stuck in the way and really the way you can Google it, like Pinterest will have, here's how to start whatever business you want, [00:30:00] A to Z. Rarely will it go according to that plan, but I mean, but still the heart of it is you'll be able to find your way if you have your why leading it.

And I think that's what's gonna help you the most right now, is maybe you can create a little vision board or just a way to sit with your why a little bit before you lean into the work for your day. So that way you can have that settling in and that clarity that helps you know what the next steps are.

Abbie: I love that idea because I do think my brain works very fast. Mm-hmm. Um, and oftentimes I forget, I guess to even just like stop even just personal day, like, okay, what if we took five minutes in the morning to just sit here and breathe and my day goes better? Yeah. So it makes complete sense [00:31:00] that. In a business setting, like you can't just like sit down to a sewing machine and sew for 10 hours without taking some time in this whole business sense to be like, why am I doing that?

Monica Packer: Yeah. Uh, you could even ask yourself, you could just sit down. It could even be one minute and you can just remind yourself, like take a deep breath and say, who is this for? And I put yourself on that list. But you could also imagine. Like a particular avatar person that you're like, it's for this woman, this woman who just needs something to call her own at the end of the day.

Or who wants to just make something from her own hands. Like think of who that is, and then also what is this for? Like what is that gonna do for her? What is it gonna do for me? And even truly a minute, set a timer. I think you'll be surprised, like our brains do think faster than we can actually speak, so I'm sure your brain will be like, and then you could move into your work.

So I think that'd be a good practice.[00:32:00]

Speaking of next steps though, those do still matter. Okay. You already made some progress there, which is great. Here's the thing that I think is gonna help you decide what your actual next step is, and it's the truth that. Each step is the next step, meaning we get stuck on what's next when we're looking at it.

The whole list and the list to use in it even clear. It's just like this messed up. Brainstorm. Um, instead of looking at as I am, my next step is going to be everything, or it has to be the right step or the whole thing falls apart. It's more like, no, each step is just the next step. Meaning it's just like that first step you made to apply for your business.

It felt like a first step. Well, what's the next first step, and then what's the next first step?

Abbie: The picture I have in my mind is, [00:33:00] what I'm trying to do is build a tower, but every single block has to be like on top of the neck. So if I don't have that block, I can't keep going. But really it's just kind of like a pile of blocks and as you build them up, it gets higher. Right? You kind like they don't really have to be 1, 1, 1, because also.

Not very structurally sound either. You're building a foundation. No, it's just like the, yeah, the not a tower that came in while you were talking of just like the way that I have kind of been thinking about it is like, okay, I have to absolutely do the next step. I need to research and find what the next step is.

We're really just put a lock down. Yeah, and you can have a stronger foundation. I mean even just like this much foundation versus this much foundation, like you just see visually like that one's gonna be a little bit stronger because it's. Wider, it can hold more. Whereas like one block on top, like that's gonna topple really easily.

Monica Packer: Yes, it'll be shaky. Yeah. I love that image [00:34:00] of thinking. Actually, I'm building a foundation, which means I can put a block here and I can put a block there. They may not be related, but one day they're gonna be connected by other blocks that create the foundation for me to then build a building, not a singular tower.

So. Um, I know Sharon McMahon says something about do the next needed thing. Um, some people say, do the next best thing. Um, I, I'd also encourage you to say, do the next easiest thing, like, or fun thing. It's all part of the same foundation. When I was beginning to write my book and it was like super overwhelming and I was looking at it like that tower, I thought one of the things that could help get my creativity flowing is if I just want on Canva and I created a, a fake book cover.

If anyone knows anything about publishing, whatever I make is not gonna be the book cover. But doing that was kind of fun. It was a little bit different, but it still helped me get back to the vision of why it mattered. So I could actually sit down and, and write and do the scary thing like writing.

Abbie: And I love [00:35:00] that, that this is where it's connecting for me, is you're taking the time to feed your vision, which in the in turn is going to get.

The book to other people. So this I think goes back to like the people pleasing of just like, oh, I have to think about everybody else. How's gonna help everybody else? But I also need to be feeding my desire, my soul, because that's how you're gonna get there. Which it seems counterintuitive, right? Like doing this for other people.

So I need to pay attention to myself. That doesn't sound correct. It's an and, but it is. Yeah, exactly. It's an and like if, if I don't have anything to do, then I can't give it to somebody. Mm-hmm. I don't know. That just was really cool. That connection.

Monica Packer: Is there something that comes to mind? The next thing, whether it's needed or best or fun or easy?

What's the next thing?

Abbie: Um, honestly, I just thinking of put it together like a little. Class, [00:36:00] like just an ad that you, right. Like in Canva that you could put on Facebook, Instagram, things like that. Yeah. Also making it, I had another thought of just like making it more personal too. Like, Hey, I'm starting this business 'cause I want to pay off my credit cards, because that's relatable to other people, right?

Yeah. You're

Monica Packer: just like, yeah, you're taking the fear and you're using it as part of the plan instead. Yeah. Actually, let's make it everything that's gonna be personal in this business. For them. For me, yeah.

Abbie: But this, this is me. I'm using my hands to try and do this, and if you can't afford it, that's fine, but like this is, this is my why a little bit.

And once that's done, then I can move on to something else or Hey, that didn't work. It just, it feels very like it. Yeah. Just more accessible I guess, of just like, what is one little thing that you can do? What's one thing that's sparking some more excitement?

Monica Packer: You talked about, you know, this is all getting back to we're, we're, we're figuring out their next steps, which is really great practically, but also deeper.

We're learning how to detach your identity from the outcome [00:37:00] by weirdly validating your identity better and your own values and what you want. Um. So it's all, all of this seems like it shouldn't work together, but it does. Okay. So we gotta add more and into your vocabulary and mindset about this all. Um, and I think you're already doing that.

So we know your next steps. We know maybe the practice you can have when you're working every day. And by the way. I always just, I often have to start with something that seems easy or fun or like a little thing just to get momentum going when I'm having a real fear driven day with any part of my work.

So you may that, that just could become a way of doing your work too. And as you're doing it, Abbie, you're gonna spiral up each time you do something, even though you start a day full of self-doubt, but you somehow created an ad or you reached out to a potential vendor, or you designed a product or whatever it's gonna end up being.

You can say, look. I'm doing it and I can trust myself and I can do something even while I'm afraid.[00:38:00]

Abbie: Mm-hmm. Like that, that affirmation piece of Mm, finishing the cycle, right? Like if you Yeah. Only are looking at awareness, then you have I like that.

Monica Packer: Yep. And that cycle spirals. Okay, great. I think we got it. I'd love to hear how it goes. You should send me an email and, oh gosh, this is just so applicable to so many people who are at the starting line and want something, and I think this is gonna help a lot of women.

What do you wanna make sure you remember the most from this call?

Abbie: Obviously like the adding more and um, and realizing that like, the reason I have the fear is because it's also part of my why within that also makes fear seem, I more invited, I guess, where you're just like, Hey, if I have fear, that means that I have a [00:39:00] deep why and I just really like that where it's making even just.

Fear less scary. Like it's okay that you have fear because that means that you have your why too. And so I'm just like, what? Like I can invite it in, I can, oh yeah, come on in. Take a seat. That just seems very counterintuitive, but as we. Invited the fear in. I've become more relaxed and that seems odd. I know, doesn't it?

Monica Packer: Yeah. You're gonna be afraid every day. Also, you're probably gonna hate your business. It's part of the course. Just expect it. When I used to teach beginning podcasters, when you're gonna hate your podcast in like two months, it doesn't mean you quit. It's part of the course. And then recognizing and accepting it, you can work through it differently and.

Continue to shift the way you see yourself along the way. I can't wait for you. What an amazing challenge and keep us updated and we'd love to share about it too. Once you're fully launched, we'll share about it with the community too to celebrate you. Thank you. Thanks [00:40:00] for doing this call with me, Abbie.

You so appreciate it. Oh, thank you. It's been wonderful. You are making so many good connections too that I was like, oh yeah.

I hope this episode gave you the hug and kick in the pants you need to grow. I'll now share the progress pointers. These are the notes I took so you don't have to, and those on my newsletter, get them in a graphic form each week. That graphic form is an expanded version of what you will hear right now.

Number one, fear can mean you care deeply. Number two, you don't need to remove fear to move forward. Number three, to move forward. Healthfully, learn to detach your identity from the outcome. Number four, people pleasing can block self-trust. And number five, progress is a spiral, not a straight line. Your do something challenge this week is to do what I basically told Abbie at the end.

Do the next fun or easy thing. Just do that with whatever you are considering pursuing, [00:41:00] and maybe that can include taking the how to Dream Again. Workshop that Abbie referenced, she came to the one I taught live, which is now a virtual replayable workshop ready for you at about progress.com/workshops.

This podcast is listener supported. Members of the Supporters Club make my work with about progress free and available to all. They also get access to three levels of exclusive benefits for more time to more content with me.

I would invite you to check it all out and become a supporter by going to about progress.com/support, and you can always support the show for free. One easy way to do that is to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts,

and it's my birthday month, and I actually don't even use that qualifier in any other area of my life. But if you would like to honor me by honoring the show, I would especially appreciate a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you so much for [00:42:00] listening. Now go and do something with what you learned today.

Monica Packer: Um,

hold on. I had a thought and it just went away from my head, so I'm just giving it a second.

Hmm. I may come back in a second. That happens a lot, especially these days. Okay.

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