The Antidote to Comparison: How Gratitude Helps You Reclaim Confidence || with Kathie Gwilliam

Nov 24, 2025

In my latest episode, I had the pleasure of talking with Kathie Gwilliam about how gratitude can play a pivotal role in our personal development and self-improvement. We delved into the sneaky nature of comparison and how it can erode our self-worth, leading to unhappiness. But Kathie presented simple, actionable steps on how to be happier by shifting our mindset towards gratitude.

By acknowledging our own unique gifts and appreciating others for their strengths, we can stop being perfectionists and enhance our daily habits for a more fulfilling life. This episode is a self-help resource perfect for mothers seeking self-compassion and personal growth.

Celebrate 9 years of About Progress by submitting to our annual Favorite Things Giveaway! Simply leave a rating/review on Apple Podcasts. Favorite things + details on who won HERE.

More for Moms Conference, use code “LISTENER” for $20 off: https://www.aboutprogress.com/moreformoms

About a few other things...

Sign up for the Go Getter Newsletter to get Progress Pointers in your inbox every Wednesday.

You can listen to the episode below, on Apple Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast app. If you like the show please share it, subscribe, and leave a review! 



 This episode is brought to you by Cozy Earth. Get up to 40% off at ⁠⁠⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠⁠ with code "COZYPROGRESS"

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] 

Monica Packer: Kathie Gwilliam, a warm welcome to about progress.

Kathie Gwilliam: Thank you. I'm excited to be here.

Monica Packer: This is a week that we're thinking a lot about gratitude. We're gonna be talking about it from a bit different perspective, and it's more about an internalized gratitude and a way to combat, the sneaky comparison that robs us of so much. And that's where I wanna begin because I think we have to kind of lay the groundwork of why our ultimate conversation matters.

It's because of how much. Comparison robs us of our presence, of our joy, of our relationships, of things we want to try and do. And I wanted to see how you personally see this in the women in your community and in your old life too, about how comparison is doing that.

Kathie Gwilliam: Yeah, I think, you know, comparison is natural. We all do it, but when we stay in a comparative mind frame, um, you know, it kinda stills our confidence. It stills our, connection with other people because we put up walls, it changes our actions, when we're comparing [00:01:00] our bodies. You may not put on a swimsuit and jump in the pool with your kids or your family.

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Kathie Gwilliam: You know, you hold back from going to that reunion 'cause maybe someone else is more successful than you are. and so I think it just affects the way we show up in the world when we put ourselves lower or higher than somebody else through that comparison.

Monica Packer: And one other thing I keep thinking about too is it kind of creates this feeling of lack, like you're always behind, you'll never get ahead. Uh, it's, it's really a, a despairing place to be.

Kathie Gwilliam: Absolutely. Yeah. We just, we focus on what we're lacking, what we don't have, and it really lowers our sense of self-worth. And so therefore, we're not as willing to put ourselves out there or to, you know, make friendships or to show up in the meeting and, you know, contribute in a meaningful way because we have so much insecurity because we compare.

Monica Packer: [00:02:00] Okay. And so that really speaks to the whole confidence issue as well. It, it breeds insecurity and, and I think that insecurity is what makes us not show up, like you just said, show up to our lives. I wanna talk more about ways they can track comparison, because it's surprisingly sneaky and I, I think we have the obvious ones that we can all think of.

But can you kind of paint the picture of what they should even be looking for to see if comparison is a problem for them?

Kathie Gwilliam: Yeah. I kind of teach a process to my listeners I call the Soar Steps and I. The first step is to state out loud what you're comparing, because we, we know the comparisons when we are like, oh, they're so much better than us, and it's like a blatant statement. But sometimes we're comparing when we're watching television and you see somebody and you like something about them, you think, oh, I could never do that. Or we compare when there's expectations that have been said or unsaid and we think, oh, we're not living up to that. That's [00:03:00] actually a comparison that we're making, or. even. In our relationships when we like expect our partner to do something and then they don't, but we never even told them that.

And we feel angry or bitter. You know, that's a form of comparison too. And then we're allowing walls to be built in our relationship because of unspoken expectations. So I think there's all these different ways that we compare to one another and to society and to the world. And I think one of the. ways to identify when we're comparing is through the next step. So first is Soar S State, the comparison, and then O is to observe the results.

Monica Packer: Okay.

Kathie Gwilliam: when you recognize bitterness and vanity and insecurity and jealousy popping up, that's a big red flag to say, Hey, I compared to something, what?

What did I compare to? Does that make sense?

Monica Packer: No, it does. Okay, so we state the comparison meeting, so we just notice it's happening.

Kathie Gwilliam: Yeah.

Monica Packer: Like we realize, oh, that's what I'm doing. [00:04:00] I'm actually comparing myself to this person or this season of life that someone's in or what someone else could accomplish or what they'd look. I'm gonna state it and then I'm gonna say, observe what happens because of that.

A lot of what you just described as internal kind of yucky feelings.

Kathie Gwilliam: it is. Um, I think the majority of the work is internal in this

Monica Packer: Yeah,

Kathie Gwilliam: sphere. Um, and it's, so much of it is happening in our mind. Yes, we do state comparisons out loud, but I think most of the time it's internal. It's

Monica Packer: it's internal.

Kathie Gwilliam: in our brains. I think the power of observing, I think we don't really recognize all that comparison holds us back from.

And so when you take a step back and say, okay, I had this thought. I compared myself to my neighbor. What is it? How is that affecting my life? And you ask yourself the questions, okay, how do I feel? So like, you know, how did it affect my emotions? How is it affecting my [00:05:00] behavior

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Kathie Gwilliam: how does it affect my view of myself, my self-worth, my identity? and as you recognize all those things like. I'm comparing myself to my neighbor who brought me homemade bread and I don't make homemade bread, so I feel crummy 'cause I don't make homemade bread. So I'm gonna throw this bread in the garbage and not enjoy it. And then I feel embarrassed 'cause I think I'm not as good as her and maybe I won't talk to her. You know, we can recognize, oh, I felt guilt and shame. I felt insecure 'cause I thought I wasn't as good as her. 'cause I don't make homemade bread. And then I up a wall like it affected how I react to her, how I connect with my neighbor.

Monica Packer: Mm.

Kathie Gwilliam: Instead of just being grateful and gracious that she gave you a gift. And so if when you ask yourself those questions and you recognize the little tiny ways or big ways that it changes us, then I think it prepares our mind to make a change. 'cause we're like, oh, you know, our brains like to protect us. They don't like us to be living, you know? [00:06:00] Icky place, right? It always wants to make us the best.

And so when we notice, hey, you made a comparison and this is affecting how I'm showing up, your brain's gonna wanna change. And that's where the next step, the A comes in. And

Monica Packer: Okay.

Kathie Gwilliam: acknowledge, acknowledge the comparison that you made, um, is not fair.

Monica Packer: Okay.

Kathie Gwilliam: so many times we think, oh, you know, we're on the same. Playing field, I should be able to do whatever so and so does, or they should be able to do what I can do. the truth is, there are inumerable things, our DNA, our our family, our um, money, our opportunities, our learned experiences that affect how we show up in the world and why, you know, the things we've learned and the skills we have or don't have. so we're never really on equal playing fields.

Monica Packer: Mm-hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: it's never fair to compare, and when you acknowledge that and [00:07:00] point out the reasons why it's not fair to make that comparison again with this stating it out loud. You, you know what you did, you observed how bad it's affecting you, and then you acknowledge it's not even fair in the first place, then you're really ready to make a change.

Monica Packer: And I think part of that acknowledgement piece, as you've been describing that I've been realizing we have to acknowledge that it's a form of criticism and judgment. Sometimes comparison just comes straight out as jealousy, I think, towards other people. But I think most often it's about a self-judgment and a self-criticism.

And so even though, like you said, our brains are trying to protect us, it's hurting us and acknowledging it is a way for us to really, um, I wouldn't say luxuriate in the hurt, but to acknowledge, oh, this is. This is hurting me and it's not fair or right. So now I have a choice about what I'm gonna do about it, and I'm sure that's where R comes in.

Uh, so tell us more about R , to go with the whole SOAR steps.

Kathie Gwilliam: Yeah, so r is [00:08:00] the really the key component. It is, you know, all the, all the, all the other steps are preparing you to really make a change, and r is to replace the

Monica Packer: Okay.

Kathie Gwilliam: You know, I kind of compare it to like a little kid, like if you've ever had a. A child that, or you know, know somebody that's like afraid of the dark or they think there's a monster under their bed or something.

If you're just tell 'em, Hey, don't be afraid. That's not gonna change anything. They're

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Kathie Gwilliam: in their bed. They're not gonna go to sleep. And so you have to replace their thought with something else, right? I read my kids a story or sing 'em a song, or talk about something fun we're gonna do in the coming week.

And so it's replaced in their mind and then they can calm down and forget about the fear, move on. think it's kinda the same thing, like if we just say Don't compare, that's not gonna happen because it naturally happens and you're, you can't just remove something from your marine. And have nothing remain. so we replace it. And there's three things that I wholeheartedly believe are the [00:09:00] best replacements for comparison in our brain. And that's appreciation to appreciate other people in their strengths and abilities.

Monica Packer: Hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: and then inspiration. Take inspiration and, you know, try to grow yourself. Like, oh, they can do this.

Hey, I could learn it too. And then, Recognition and that's taking a little bit of time to recognize the good that is already in you because we all have amazing skills and abilities that contribute to this world. And it's okay if we don't have what everyone else has. 'cause we have our own too.

Monica Packer: And that contrasts the lack feeling. I think that comparison often creates because it's more, I know this can be such a woowoo term, but honestly it is more abundant. It feels more gracious, compassionate, open giving, and also I'm sure changes your behavior because, and instead of saying stuck on the sidelines or, hustling to try to get better at something.

Because of that inner comparison voice or being jealous of somebody, you're actually doing something about it. Um, even if that means acknowledging your own gifts that you [00:10:00] have and how we don't all have to have the same gifts or things that we're good at or opportunities to be living a good life.

Kathie Gwilliam: Yeah, and I think this goes so well with all the things you teach because it's honestly a beautiful way to overcome perfectionism

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Kathie Gwilliam: when you like step back and just be grateful that other people have skills and abilities and talents that you don't have and can recognize how they bless your life because of that. It kind of lets you be free. Like, oh, I don't have to be good at everything. I don't have to do it all because I can do my good and I can be inspired by other people, but like I don't have to do it like them. And so I think it's so freeing and it's a really beautiful way to help us overcome that perfectionism that so many women tend to have.

Monica Packer: I love that point so much. It, it does change the way we show up. It gives us permission to show up as humans that we are. And you know, you started this Kathie by saying that [00:11:00] all of us compare so. I gather from your work that the goal is to not ever compare ever again. It's to be aware of it and to change our relationship with comparison.

And I wanted to hear about your own journey with that though, because I'm betting there had to have been a time where comparison bred a lot of insecurity in you. It led you to a place where you were not happy, you were suffering from it, and also that this has become. You know, a big passion of yours to help women specifically with this.

Can you tell us more about when it was like, okay, this is actually a big problem that I need to work on?

Kathie Gwilliam: Yeah, I was 21. I, I was actually a pretty confident teenager,

Monica Packer: Mm-hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: know, I think I had, just a inner sense of self and I moved to a new state and I was doing something completely new and out of my comfort zone and I was really excited about it. I was gonna be giving tours at this historic site, and

Monica Packer: Amazing. Yeah.

Kathie Gwilliam: I, um, got there and the other people that I was working with. [00:12:00] It was like all of a sudden I was looking through a magnifying glass and I could just see, oh my gosh, she has this incredible voice and I can't sing on my tours. I'm not gonna do that. It would,

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Kathie Gwilliam: run outta the room, you know? And then this other person had just so much knowledge of history and I loved history, but I didn't, I didn't have the knowledge she had, and suddenly I was just like, I don't belong here.

I'm in the wrong place. I can't compare her to these other women that are here this. And I had a really wise leader that. Recognize what was happening. 'cause I didn't, I don't, I didn't understand why I had just lost all my confidence in like a couple week period. he just told me to never compare. 'cause I would either be vain or bitter. it was really kind of shocking to me. 'cause I was like, first of all, I didn't, I didn't even recognize what I was doing. I thought, you know, I was just seeing these other people and how great they were and I didn't, I didn't realize that I was. Chipping away my own worth because of

Monica Packer: Hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: they're [00:13:00] good. And I was in a period of time where I really wanted to grow myself, and vanity and bitterness were not really the attributes I wanted to gain.

Monica Packer: Yes.

Kathie Gwilliam: so I really dove in. I was like, okay, well how I'm comparing? How do I stop that, I'm not the first person who will ever have told you, don't compare yourself to others.

Right? We hear that semi-frequently, but I didn't know how to actually do that. And so through a lot of trial and error, I just kind of dove in and this is the process that I, you know, I had to recognize it first, and then I observed like how it. Made me wanna go home and give up and walk away from this experience. And then I recognized it wasn't fair because yeah, I couldn't sing like this other woman I worked with, but I had talents in presenting

Monica Packer: Mm.

Kathie Gwilliam: connecting with the audience would come through our doors. And so. I recognized, Hey, it's not, it's not fair. You know, we can do things different and [00:14:00] still do it well. And so I recognized, no, I acknowledged that it wasn't fair. And then I realized, um, through and error how I could replace that comparison in my mind I just started to appreciate these other women and the strengths they had and let go, that I didn't need to do it like them.

Monica Packer: Hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: But I could love how they did it. I was able to like be inspired by some of them. Okay, well I'm gonna dig in and learn a little bit more about this history. Just like she knows so much of it and, learn in my own way. And, and then just recognizing my own value that I contributed and that experience and coming up with that pattern for myself and seeing how much it really restored my confidence Contributed to me being able to connect and love these other women that I was working

Monica Packer: Mm-hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: It changed the trajectory of my life. And so I've used this and, I, I just see, you know, especially with like social media

Monica Packer: Mm-hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: all that's out there, I feel like comparison [00:15:00] is really just, it's in our face and it's so easy and prevalent and natural, so I just, yeah, I'm, I'm passionate because I, it's made a difference in my life and I know it can make a difference in other people's life too.

Monica Packer: You know, we began this conversation talking about how the consequences of comparison are so internal, and they are, but one thing that really struck me from your own story is how it doesn't just rob us of experiences, growth, relationships. It robs other people of those things too. Because if we are holding back, if we're not leaning into our own unique ways of doing things or being, we are denying.

People from benefiting from those things too. So you were able to, in appreciating other people and, and recognizing, how you wanted to change and being inspired by them, you were able to better let other people benefit from your lack of, or refusal, I would say to stay in the comparison mindset.

So it's not about like you never did, it was more [00:16:00] about the, the refusal to do that. So one thing I think that may be helpful for women to think about who are listening is to. One of the biggest ways it seems like to combat comparison here is to own your gifts. To own that I have gifts to give in their own right and they are worthy as they are.

I have gifts to give that gives like a different feeling.

Kathie Gwilliam: I think, I mean, that was really like the first, you know, I, I, I put it the last when I introduced them, but that was the first thing that I did as a person. When I was really drowning in that lack of confidence and comparison was recognized, like, take a step back and be like, remind myself, hey, you know, you came here because you have this strength and this strength. And um, I had to just own that. And I think sometimes, especially as women, we, we tend to like have been taught, oh, we wanna be humble and we

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Kathie Gwilliam: you know, but humility, it's not about. Putting yourself down or like [00:17:00] not acknowledging who you are. You can be a very gracious, kind, humble person and still really step in to recognizing and owning your own strengths and gifts.

It doesn't help anyone when we shy away and don't show up. And acknowledge the good and the great that is us. It, it benefits everybody when we do step into that and own ourselves and it gives people, other people permission to be like, Hey, I can be good at this too. Or, you know, my own things.

Monica Packer: I can do it in my own way. I, I think about, um, one woman I'm friends with who, uh, really has a hard time going to things like book club or social gatherings in our neighborhood with other women. Because she is in such a comparison place and the thing that the comparison makes her do is tap down. So she gets really quiet and withdraws and, um, is insecure about, you know, speaking up and, and, uh, sharing her own insight 'cause she doesn't think it's [00:18:00] good enough and.

This is for her and for those like her, I would say regardless of if that's like a social gathering or anything else that you are interested in doing and being in the ways you're interested in connecting, I wanna lean a little bit more into. The antidote, I think, of comparison, which is gratitude because each of those three words you described with replace, appreciation, inspiration, and recognition, uh, really to me are about that, about settling into gratitude.

So how would you say that is the antidote to comparison? Like why does that work?

Kathie Gwilliam: One. I think as I kind of said earlier, it helps you let go of this need for perfectionism and this need to like, I have to do everything and be good at everything and everyone else does too, when we can just simply appreciate other people and their strengths and recognize. I'm so glad there are people out there who are very technologically savvy 'cause I'm not and they can help me with that. Um, you know, as an author I [00:19:00] almost. Didn't ever submit my first children's picture book for publication because I'm a really horrible speller. And so I had this expectation that, you know, authors should know how to spell like, and so I couldn't possibly be an author. And then just stepping back and being like, it's okay.

I can be good with words and other people. It can be good with editing and helping me where I struggle, and I can just be grateful that I have people that can help me with that. , And so having that gratitude, appreciating other people in their strengths and appreciating yourself in the strengths you have. Is like removing the comparison. It's, it's the replacement in the brain.

Monica Packer: Go ahead.

Kathie Gwilliam: because it just helps you show up and appreciate yourself and others.

Monica Packer: Hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: then that's where the inspiration comes in. 'cause then you can grow, you can take inspiration from other people and you don't have to be stuck, but you don't have to do it like they do it. so gratitude is really the heart. I, I totally agree. It's the heart of all [00:20:00] three of these replacements for comparison. And they all go hand in hand. And it's. Just being grateful for who we are and who other people are and the chance that we can grow and the chance that we can be bad at things and other people can fill in the gaps where we lack and we can fill in other people's gaps.

Monica Packer: There really is, um, a, a beauty to accepting our own humanity. Just allowing ourselves to be human and other people too. I think is another way to nip that comparison in the bud because you can just, uh, let go

Kathie Gwilliam: I.

Monica Packer: like you shared. Uh, you can settle in to your own self and you can also show up more too, because you can acknowledge I don't have to be the best at this .

For it to be of something, of value. And I'm, I'm just thinking about that friend. You know, and, and that's something I think she's been working on, is saying like, I don't have to say the best thing at book club to have something to say. Like, I don't have to say the thing that makes everyone like, Ooh, yeah.

Like, really resonate with that in order for it to be of [00:21:00] value. . And that I think is what we want. We all want more of that. We want to feel, we want to be able to let go more. We want to settle in. We want to step up. I'm curious, Kathie, you shared a few statements there that I think will help with that gratitude piece to kind of give them that space to step into those three steps that you shared.

Appreciation, inspiration, recognition. You said I don't have to do it the way they do it. That was something you said. Are there any other go-to ways that you kind of settle yourself in in those moments and be able to step into more of that gratitude piece that women can adopt for themselves?

Kathie Gwilliam: Yeah, I think just stepping back when you recognize like, oh, and you're comparing yourself to someone else and you're starting to feel down about yourself, if you just pause and be like, how does their strength actually benefit my life? And I think when you recognize the benefit that other people. The way they show up and the way they contribute and you know, the way they serve and give [00:22:00] you, it helps you remove like, oh, it's not about me,

Monica Packer: Hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: us as a whole,

Monica Packer: Hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: I think that are. Divinely designed to be different so that we can help each other. It would be impossible for any one of us to have every single skill and talent and ability in this world.

There's just not enough time or you know, energy or emotion. And so there is beauty when we take a step back and realize, oh, you know, they have that strength and it blesses me. And same thing for you. I have that strength and it can bless them. And when you just allow yourself to all be different and remind yourself, oh, how does this bless me?

How does this bless them? How are we helping each other? think it helps us step into that gratitude.

Monica Packer: With this being the week of gratitude, can you share kind of an example where this happened maybe more recently for you, uh, where you were [00:23:00] able to follow through those steps and ultimately end in that place of, of settling in, of, of more confidence and contentment even, because of the way you walked yourself through it.

Kathie Gwilliam: Yeah. You know, I, in the past couple years have stepped into, um, public speaking and taking this message. Um, to other people, and I've joined a organization where there are people who have been doing this for 25 years.

Monica Packer: Wow.

Kathie Gwilliam: Are incredibly talented and I'm, I'm a newbie in the speaking world, relatively compared.

And as I show up at these conferences, like I walk in, immediately go, oh my gosh, you know, they make $25,000 for one speaking gig. They just know every single thing about this. And I don't, you know, and I feel really insecure. And I think almost every single time I go to one of these meetings, I have to walk myself through these steps.

And as I remind myself, Hey, they were a beginner once too. It's okay that I'm a beginner when I remind myself, hey,

Monica Packer: Hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: have so much I [00:24:00] can learn and grow and be inspired from, I'm grateful that I don't have to figure this all out on my own, that I have people I can look up to as I walk in and remind myself, you know, I have done this, I've done it. Lots of times and I've

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Kathie Gwilliam: to connect with people and I have something to give, then it, it just helps me step into that confidence And, um, I always, , I walk into those meetings feeling insecure and having to push back that comparison because I'm not at the level of so many people there. And I walk out feeling grateful that I went

Monica Packer: Um.

Kathie Gwilliam: uplifted and inspired to keep learning and growing in this new. Sphere that I've entered in.

Monica Packer: What I'm so inspired, um, about that is that the com, you don't let the comparison disqualify you

Kathie Gwilliam: Yeah.

Monica Packer: because you expect it. Because you've made space for your humanity and other people too. When you meet comparison, you don't let [00:25:00] it outright disqualify you from raising your hand. And even all those, you shared some more statements there that I think were so, so helpful.

Like they were a beginner too. Um, I have gifts to give, uh. Good for them, kind of as another sentiment. I could like good for them, like, and I am so lucky I get to benefit from that. That to me is the thing I wanna take away to try to step into that place of saying these things to myself when the comparison pops up so that I don't let it disqualify me from raising my hand anyway.

Kathie Gwilliam: Absolutely. You know, I think it's a lot like we recognize this with fear, like I was a little kid and I was really afraid of the high dive and. But I was, didn't wanna be embarrassed when all the other kids in my swim class jumped off the high dive. And so I like was like, okay, I'm just gonna suck it up and jump was terrified, but I did it and then I could do it again and again.

And I think comparison is the same way. Like it's going to pop up, we're gonna fill that lack of confidence or that insecurity, but if you just push through and you're like, Hey, I'm ready show up and give myself [00:26:00] grace and. Recognize the good that's in me and in other people. You know, I don't have to choose to stay in this comparative mind frame because it may pop in naturally, but it's our choice whether we keep it or move past it, just like it is with fear.

Monica Packer: It sounds like a skillset, you know,

Kathie Gwilliam: Mm-hmm.

Monica Packer: uh, the more that you do it, the more you'll learn how to work through it better. So for those who are feeling just a little bit like this is new for them.

Kathie Gwilliam: Yeah.

Monica Packer: they've just been doing comparison for so deep for so long. They've held back them from themselves.

Maybe they've been jealous of others. And they're wanting it to be different. Is there any piece of wisdom you can say or encouragement for them who are kind of more at the beginning phase of learning how to do this differently?

Kathie Gwilliam: Uh, well, one, again, it's natural. Every single person does it. In fact, there's a study that showed that 12% of our thoughts are comparative. so

Monica Packer: Wow.

Kathie Gwilliam: the grace that yeah, you're going to do it. And if you just accept that and then. Also just start to believe like, just because it [00:27:00] happens doesn't mean I have to choose to stay there. I think the more you practice these doorsteps, I've been doing this for 20 years and I still, like I said, I walk into that room and I feel it

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Kathie Gwilliam: it, you know, but the more that you really try to shift your mindset, really make it a focus, on. Embracing that gratitude and you know, appreciation for others and yourself and inspiration that you can grow. becomes easier

Monica Packer: Hmm.

Kathie Gwilliam: it quicker. And it's just like any other skill that you learn. You know, you learn the piano one note at a time and you're gonna learn to overcome comparison one little step at a time. So give yourself grace, 'cause it just takes time. And the more you practice and the more you recognize and the more you choose this gratitude mindset. the easier and the more natural it becomes.

Monica Packer: You are helping me see something that I've also identified in myself, like I, we talked about how we don't raise our hand or. Or, um. I think I with, [00:28:00] we can withdraw or cut off too. So I just don't follow certain people 'cause I'm worried about comparing myself to them. And maybe that has a place for certain times of, if you're really in a place of deep insecurity and you just need to have your, your, you know, blinders on and, and have that tunnel focus on what you can provide.

But I am thinking the antidote that we talked about of gratitude is gonna help me. Better appreciate how someone may do the same thing as me and have more success, or do it in a different way, or, you know, I wouldn't say exterior success, but say like, good for them. Or what can I, how can I learn from them?

How can they inspire me instead of just cutting people off and having those blinders on. So that's one thing I'm gonna take away from this. I do have a final question for you, Kathie, but before we do that, where should people go if they want to learn more from you?

Kathie Gwilliam: So I have my website that's kind of the hub of all my things and that's Kathie, Gwilliam, and I spell my name weird 'cause it's a weird name,

Monica Packer: Yeah.

Kathie Gwilliam: K-A-T-H-I-E-G-W-I-L-L-I-A m.com. And [00:29:00] that you can find my podcast on any podcast platform. It's Project Confidence. You know, I'm on Instagram and anyway, but that, that website's really the hub of

Monica Packer: Okay.

Kathie Gwilliam: and everything.

Monica Packer: We'll make sure we link to that. Our final question is, what is one small way listeners can take action on what they learned today?

Kathie Gwilliam: I think you can sit down today and write down three things that you are good at, three things that are your strengths that allow you to contribute in a positive way to this world because we all have them. And then also take that and write three things. That maybe you don't have of other people and their strengths and their abilities that you're grateful for. you know, maybe even do it for a week every single night. And as you make it a focus of recognizing the good in you and others, it'll be that perfect antidote to help you move past the comparative mind [00:30:00] frame.

Monica Packer: Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, we have gifts to give. We do. We all, we all have gifts to give. Kathie, you helped me recenter in a way that I didn't even know I needed today, and I know you've done that for my community as well. Thank you very much for spending time with us today.

Kathie Gwilliam: Thank you for having me.

Monica Packer: You did such a great job. You're gonna see the miracles of editing where I get all of my own, like I don't need that tangent from me, so I'm gonna take that.

 

browse categories

Love About Progress and want MORE content and access?

Join the club, below!

Check out the Supporters Club!