Why I switched from plans to self-publish to seek traditional publishing + how I got my first book offer (and almost turned it down)

(Orginally shared June, 2025)

First off, thank you so much for even caring about the book I'm writing. It means the world to know that there are people cheering me on in this way.

I'm doing my darndest to write a book on habit formation for women that will change lives in ways both deep and practical. This ambition has grown to me pursuing publishing avenues I didn't anticipate.

Initially, I set out to publish a book on my own. In industry terms, that means to "self-publish," where I would use my own money to hire editors, book designers, and distributers to push out my book. This was the original plan for a few reasons: 

1. Speed: self-publishing allows for a much quicker turnaround. I could write the book in 2025 and have it published early-2026 if I wanted to, thanks to it all being dependent on me.
2. Confidence: having taught my habit formation for years, I had FULL confidence in the efficacy of its material. I knew of its potential to change things for women, if given the chance. For years, I experienced a great deal of frustration as I kept hitting walls with my typical attempts at spreading the good word via my own podcast, guesting on other shows, and the ever demoralizing dance of Instagram. I had my own "eureka" moment late-2024 as I was walking and meditating on my business: "It's time to turn the Sticky Habit Method into a book." It's one of the few times I felt complete certainty.
3. Insecurity: I've just got to be honest . . . I didn't think traditional publishers (think of names like: HarperCollins, Simon & Schuster, Random House, etc.) would be interested in a "nobody" like me. (I am a tiny fish in a big Internet sea.) Everything I've done with my online business for 9+ years has been super hard-earned. Nothing has come easy--there has been zero "overnight successes," very few viral posts and episodes, and back-breaking conversions to courses I've sold online. I've long carried the insecurity that I know people need my message, but they don't choose me as the messenger. This led to me not even considering pursuing the traditional publishing route, which entails many months--likely years--of pursuing a book agent and then securing a publisher. There would likely be a great deal of rejection along the way, with the high likelihood that it wouldn't even happen. So, I thought the only way I could get this book out is if I did it on my own.

Enter two friends: Miranda Anderson and Camille Andros.

I hired Miranda to coach me for a few months as she was VERY successful in self-publishing her book, More Than Enough. I wanted her guidance on the process so I could make informed decisions that transcended the google searches and online workshops I attended on the topic. Given how well her book sales went, I was surprised to hear Miranda ask me this question early on in our first session together: "Why aren't you considering traditional publishing?"

Miranda--as all good coaches do--kindly led me to face my own fears and insecurities. She also laid out the great benefits of traditional publishing: I wouldn't be limited to selling my book on Amazon, it would add more credibility to myself and my work, and lead to more and richer opportunities in the future, including being able to easily publish additional books if I wanted to. 

I was then just two months into writing my book, something I had so long wanted to do but didn't have the time nor the right idea. Finally getting words on paper truly astonished me--it was so much easier than I thought it would be. The words flowed, the ideas were endless, and my excitement in the medium grew.

When Miranda challenged me, I had to own some things: I have more books in me. I don't want to be restricted to Amazon. I want "more" for myself and this material.

So, now it was time to own all that; it was also time to fail my way forward. I knew that even if I spent considerable time and energy attempting to get an agent and then a publisher and failed with either acquisition, I would still be happier that I had tried-and-failed than if I had dampened my potential before I even started.

I paused writing my book and began the arduous process of instead crafting a book proposal. Book proposals are like business plans for your book. They are typically 50-70 pages long, and not only lay out your idea for the book, but have to SELL the idea, including a full marketing plan on how you (yes, you as the author) will do so. Publishers are even more interested in marketing potential than good ideas.

A month into this process, I got the most surprising out-of-the-blue email: "I'm curious if you have ever had a dream to write a book?" 

This came from an acquisition editor from a . . . wait for it . . . traditional publishing house. It's one that is well respected in the publishing world, but I had personally never heard of them as they specialize more in textbooks and educational books, while also recently expanding more into the "commercial" landscape with books for the general masses.

Long story short: I met with this editor several times (he's lovely), finished a proposal for his publisher, and they came back with an offer.

An offer to traditionally publish my book.

You'd think I would have said an immediate "yes," right? After all, signing with them would not only secure me in the traditional publishing world, it would save me a great deal of time and energy. And, I wouldn't have to do all that work to get a book agent!

But, there was something that made me hesitate. Call it a gut reaction or maybe intuition, but it almost felt "too easy." Not like, "I'm getting scammed" easy, but like, "You're saying yes to the first thing that comes along because you still don't believe in yourself" kind of easy.

This is where my second friend comes in: Camille Andros.

Camille is an amazing child lit author, having traditionally published several successful books like the series, Charlotte the Scientist, and The Dress and the Girl. I called her to talk through my offer and get her two cents. This is something I had already done with a few other online friends, and the general consensus was, "What are you waiting for? Say 'yes!'" I was expecting the same sentiment from Camille, but then she flipped my trajectory with one strong statement: "You MUST get a book agent."

Camille pressed me to still pursue an agent because of the protection they provide both through the publication process and well after. She ended our conversation saying, "Monica, having an existing publishing offer will make it far, far easier for you to get an agent. Just message as many as you can this weekend and see where it take you."

I talked to Camille on Friday afternoon. I emailed, filled out contact forms, and stalked agents on Instagram that next morning. I honestly had little-to-no expectation of any of them responding in a timely manner. Most forms I filled out for agencies that seemed promising said upfront to not expect to hear back from them for 6-8 weeks, if that.

But, then I heard back from two.

Both are part of agencies that represented books you'd recognize in the self-help space. I had meetings with these agents, loved them for different reasons, and was thrilled to get offers of representation from both.

I took a week to decide, but I moved forward with an agency that I feel has a strong track record of representing books for the commercial market, has a diverse set of clients, and a singular agent with a great deal of experience + total excitement for my book.

We've both signed on the dotted line, so are you ready to hear?

(This feels like "The Decision" with LeBron James, but with happier results.) 

I'm officially part of The Bindery agency, represented by their Senior Literary Agent Trinity McFadden. 

What's coming from here? 

Trinity is doing her job: shopping my book to other traditional publishers while also exploring the current offer I have.

I'm doing my job, or rather getting back to it: writing.

The truth is, it is still possible I'll sign with the original publishing house that came my way. But if that happens, I'll be glad knowing I have Trinity by my side both for this book, and hopefully for more to follow.

Can you believe the wild ride I've been on the last few months? These are the kind of opportunities I've never had. They honestly feel like they've landed in my lap.

But then, I remember: 9+ years.

For over 9 years I've been writing with About Progress--first as a blog, then as a podcast. For 9+ years I've worked for next-to-nothing, and there have even been years where I even paid to work. For 9+ years I've believed in my message and the women I've sought to reach enough to keep going. For 9+ years I've cultivated skillsets I never thought I'd need, networked far and wide, and met every kind of failure and disappointment along the way that made me want to rage and quit so, so badly.

I don't know if this book thing will work out yet. I don't know if it'll be a "success." I don't know if it'll act as the tipping point I've long been balancing on the edge of to About Progress becoming more of a mainstream name. 

But I know this: I'm ready for more.

Whether this book does that for me or not, I know it'll lead to the next thing, and the thing after that. I trust that I'll end up where I need to be. I trust myself.

And with all that, I trust that women need this book in their hands.

Thank you for potentially being one of them, for caring, and for being there for me.

I'll continue to update you with news as I have it, from how the writing is going, to what publisher I sign with (fingers crossed!), to first-looks at the title and the cover, and eventually some opportunities to be my test readers and grassroots publicists.

XO,

Monica