Habits That are Helping: How I Avoided Burnout During My Busiest Year Yet Thanks To Some VERY Simple Habits

In this episode I'm sharing four small habits that kept me from burning out during the most chaotic year of my life — launching my book Sticky Habits, co-hosting a tour in Rome, and running the More for Moms conference all at once. I talk about practicing self-compassion when cynicism crept in, getting ready for bed alongside my kids, doing bare-bones weekly planning, and taking a weekly cookie date with my youngest after speech therapy.

I also share a new habit I'm starting, inspired by a question I asked the women on my Italy trip: What of you is missing from your life? Plus, I'm celebrating the podcast's 10-year anniversary and inviting you to send in a voice note for a special listener episode.

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TRANSCRIPT

Monica Packer: [00:00:00] I don't know a single woman who doesn't feel like her life , isn't busier than ever. Like, every woman I know, it's like I've never felt more time poor in my life, and I feel that way too. And this simple habit of connecting with my son, of taking a moment to embrace a m- a, a, a slowness of, of being present, of being still,

of doing something out of the norm, that all just helped me feel like in all this chaos, here's a moment of calm, hi, this is Monica Packer, and you're listening to About Progress, where we are about progress made practical Well, I feel like I am re-emerging to the land of the living. You'll have to stay tuned for The Messy Middle coming out later this week for a full life update. But in short, the book is out, my tour to Rome, Italy is over, and I have the first normal-ish workload in nearly two [00:01:00] years.

So I am feeling super good and super thankful. Today's episode is going to be a bit more of an informal one, and it's part of a series you really seem to like, and I've only done one of these episodes this year so far. But that series is Habits That Are Helping. In the series, I share about some habits that are helping me show up as myself.

And, you know, to go with that, you have to know that I teach habits differently. Habits aren't about metrics we need to hit or prescriptions that we have to fulfill. They're not chores. They're not to-dos. It's not just about productivity. Habits are there to help us, not to hurt us. So in that spirit, today I'm going to share about four habits that have helped me get through the, the insanity, honestly, that has been the last six months in particular, but honestly, the last two years, and are also helping me re-ease into normal life without [00:02:00] a total burnout, which I was afraid of.

More on that coming up after a quick break for our sponsors

When I started the year 2026, I wrote my goals for the year, and I knew in advance that it was going to be one filled with opportunity and ones I didn't wanna take for granted. And as part of that, that it was going to be a very push-heavy season. In other seasons like that, I have come to the end of them and felt completely wrung out and burnt out, and that was something I wanted to avoid this year.

So one of my top goals this year was, and I quote, "Don't burn out." And I kind of listed some ways I wanted to do that, including making sure I took the weekends off from work, um, that I had clear boundaries around my tech use, that I prioritized deep rest. And I'll say a lot of that didn't happen. I worked [00:03:00] every single weekend this entire year, um, because there was no other way to show up and do the things I needed to do and to take advantage of the opportunities of the season.

And I'll say that I don't want it to be that way, and I have every intention on life looking different in that regard next year. But I also wanna give myself a little pat on the back because there were some significant moments and even periods of time, especially the last few months, where I felt like I had given everything I had to give and there was still more to come and more to do, and I could feel that waterfall going over the edge kind of feeling, like the, the inevitability of me crashing and burning out.

However, I don't feel like I did that. There were times where I was barely limping along, especially near the end of the More for Moms conference, but I ended that conference feeling more fulfilled than, than, you [00:04:00] know, done. Um, and the same thing now. I... Of course, I am going to heavily prioritize rest the next month and a half in particular, uh, mostly because I'm having a surgery soon that will force me into that too, so there's kind of an opportunity there, a built-in opportunity.

But also, I feel, , ready for real life to come after that rest period and also, uh, some more curiosity about what that may look like. And so I, I have to say, I think the fact that I didn't fall over the proverbial waterfall and come crashing down is in part due to some very small and simple ways, habits that helped me prioritize taking care of myself through some habits that could help me without them being their own thing because they were too big or too hard or too intensive.

So I'm gonna share three of them here, and then we'll do a quick break, and then I'll share a couple others. [00:05:00] The first is actually more of a habit of the mind, and this habit was self-compassion. I found this side of me that tends to be more pragmatic slash realistic was becoming a lot more cynical, that was expecting things to not go well.

Um, I had, uh, some opportunities that didn't play out the way I wanted them to or wished they had, and that inner critic was sneaking in and getting louder, um, trying to tell myself that, you know, "Why do you even do any of this?" Like, "None of this works. Um, here you are another day of, you know, doing all these things at home and with work, and none of it will matter."

Just a very cynical voice. And also just my own, um, inadequacy that I was dealing with of realizing just how much was on my plate and, , understanding that I, I had to do it all on my own, um, especially with work stuff [00:06:00] because, you know, I couldn't hire those things out. But the-- this fear of not being able to do it and to measure up.

So it became pretty heavy at times, and what I had to work on was, um, a mindset of compassion. Now, I'm gonna work on more of the optimism and hope and, and trying to work on that mindset with time. That's one of my, uh, kind of shifts I'm ready to make as I move through this period of rest and then back into real life too.

But I will say during that, I still was able to exercise a lot of self-compassion I've been able to say to, to myself, you know, "Sure, that didn't turn out the way you thought," or, "Of course you're feeling overwhelmed. Um, nobody could do all of this all on their own and feel like they're doing it all super well."

I was able to at least give myself some compassion, and that was really needed because, you know, the, the, the cynical side wasn't really ready to go anywhere. Um, in many ways that cynical side was trying to protect me [00:07:00] from, , the abruptness of disappointment. You know, if you expect it, then you feel less disappointed, I guess.

And again, that's something I'm wanting to work on and have worked on many times over the years, and it's a, a cyclical lesson for me. But I am still proud that I was able to have this habit of the mind of still trying to give myself grace as I went along. And, um, marking these times where I felt like things were too far, too gone and trying to take, take, take care of myself from the inside out, starting with the way I spoke to myself about my own efforts and valuing those efforts as enough.

So that was more of a habit of the mind. So that was self-compassion Alongside that, there are two extremely simple habits that will sound like nothing that honestly, uh, brought me through a lot of the crazy. And the first is one I've shared before, but I'm gonna share it again. It's getting ready for bed early.

Now, I've done this even [00:08:00] earlier. There were several nights that were very late. There were mornings where I had to wake up very early. And, you know, on the other nights where I didn't have to go up to bed later, um, you know, to get the More for Moms conference ready, for example, I did my best to prioritize

getting to bed as early as possible. And to do that, the habit that I focused on was getting ready for bed. Now, in the past I've shared about getting ready for bed early. Now, this has now shifted to me getting ready for bed alongside my kids. And I don't do it every night, but I would say I have done it most nights, especially the last few very intense months.

And, you know, after dinner cleanup, as our kids are showering, and getting their pajamas, and we're brushing teeth, and reading books, and all that, and I do that alongside Brad, , which I feel very fortunate to be able to do because for years it was just all on me to do that. Uh, anyway, while we're doing that, I also get in my pajamas, and do my skincare, and get ready for bed.

And that way I can read in bed for [00:09:00] a long time. Or for a little bit of time if I fall asleep like right away. But this is an example of one of those good give-a-mouse-a-cookie habits where doing one thing will make other things easier. So I want to read more at night. I want to be on my phone less.

I want to sleep more. I want to journal. And I wanna go to bed early. And all of those things, that's like five different kind of habits that I wanted. That was all made possible by getting ready for bed alongside my kids. And that habit kind of led to all the other ones being easier. And that's something I call lowering the hurdle.

A lot of times what is getting in the way of our habits is, uh, an obstacle of sorts. And, uh, for me, like all of those other habits I listed, the, the hurdle was getting ready for bed. I don't enjoy getting ready for bed. I typically avoid skincare 'cause it can be such a laborious process, or it can just feel like, ugh, one more thing to do.

But getting ready for [00:10:00] bed alongside my kids- helped make all those other habits easier, thereby lowering the hurdle, making it easier to jump over and, and get all those other habits in place. And as part of that, I made sure that getting ready for bed feels really fun because I watch YouTube videos that I love to watch while I'm doing my skincare, and that's a way that I have trained my brain to, to not totally dread getting ready for bed and actually to even look forward to it.

And then as part of that, by the way, part of my habit is when I'm done getting ready for bed, I leave my phone in the bathroom, and I charge it on my bathroom counter, which is a very small counter. So that also acts as a good kind of give a mouse a cookie habit that helps make all those other habits easier.

So it's not just getting ready for bed alongside my kids, it's everything that follows. Time to talk to Brad, to connect with my three-year-old who sleeps in our room with us, to [00:11:00] a journal, to read for a while, to fall asleep earlier, to get more sleep overall. , That's kind of that trickle-down effect in a good way of that singular habit.

So it may sound so small and simple, but it's that give a mouse a cookie/trickle-down effect that has really paid off for me and supported me tremendously. Um, and, and, and honestly, most days I looked forward to getting into bed more than anything else. That was like all I cared about, thought about. I want to get to bed as soon as possible.

So it's become something I cherish and I'm grateful for and will continue to prioritize from here on. So that habit was getting ready for bed alongside my kids. The next habit is similarly very small and simple but creates another kind of trickle-down effect, as I just stated, and it's weekly planning Last year, I used the Peacefully Productive Planner from Hustle Sanely, and I [00:12:00] was very diligent about the quarterly, monthly, weekly, and daily planning segments of that planner.

This year was different. With the, the workload and the opportunity load and the overwhelm load that this year entailed, uh, I ideally wanted all of those levels of planning, but I stuck with ensuring that the one basic one always existed, and that was weekly planning. And most of the time this year, that was all I got to.

Whereas in other years or maybe other seasons, I was able to every night plan for the next day more intensely, like have a prioritized to-do list and, and go through everything, , or, you know, every quarter revisiting my goals and plotting it out, every month doing the same thing too. This year, it just came down to the bare bones, most supportive part of that that was going to help me in my day-to-day be able to show up to at all, and that was weekly planning.

So every Sunday, at some [00:13:00] point during the day, I didn't even have like a very specific time, but I, I would sit down, open my digital planner, which is just my online Apple Calendar, and I, on the whole weekly spread of my planner, write down all the appointments/interviews, like things kids ... where kids have to be and when, all that stuff, on the, the weekly layout.

And then I would brain dump what to-dos I needed to do at home and to-dos I needed to do at work, and that was it. I didn't then prioritize how that was gonna look day to day. I didn't often make a top three list or write down to-dos. But it was something I then put on my counter on the kitchen, and I check my planner several times throughout the day, more as a just like me checking the pulse.

Where am I? What's next? Where am I? What's next? And I may not have even gone back to check off things I put on my brain dumps that needed to be done that week. But even the [00:14:00] process of doing that helped me better I would say sift through all of the muck that was in my brain to better prioritize what needed to be prioritized and to help lessen that mental load factor for me too.

Um, and it helped me feel like I at least knew where I needed to be when and, and also remove things from only existing on my brain. And there's all the science too about even writing things down helps you stay more on track and you remember things better, and I feel like I lived that out. So, you know, I would say day planning is the habit, but it really wasn't because all I did was just once a week plan out what I just shared.

Not even my week in terms of like every minute time blocking tasks allocated to time blocks or anything like that, just the bare bones truly helped me get through one of the most complicated busy years I've ever had. And actually I would probably say the busiest complicated year I've ever had. So that one was just weekly planning.

That's a habit that helped. [00:15:00] Those are three that I started with, self-compassion, getting ready for bed alongside my kids and weekly planning. After the break, I'm gonna share two that are, uh, funner. One was a weekly habit and then another is a new habit I'm gonna be focusing on and just kind of one other extra boost of what's helped me.

So I've already shared three habits, one more coming, um, and a few more are after the break Welcome back. . I started this episode by sharing that I was going to tell you about four habits, and I've already shared three.

So the fourth one that really, really helped me this year is another weekly habit where I went on a cookie date with my youngest. He goes to speech therapy twice a week. One of these sessions is in a different part of Salt Lake that is just so beautiful and is right by this independent bookstor- store that I love, as well as this pastry/bake shop that I love, and, um, I can never remember [00:16:00] the name of it off the top of my head.

I don't know why. I just mix it up with other ones. But, uh, I usually pick him up from preschool, and then we drive over, and we still have about 10 to 15 minutes before his speech therapy session starts, or we have just a little bit of time after the session ends. And we tend to just walk around the corner and go into the bakery, and we almost always get him a big chocolate chip cookie, and then I get something else, whether it's a croissant or a muffin or another kind of cookie, and we typically eat it, like, for a few minutes or whatever we can of it, just a few minutes outside, and then we even either go into the appointment or we take a little bit longer and eat together, uh, at the, the little spot.

And he knows how to get himself a water cup, and, um, he prefers to sit down because it's almost like a tradition for him. And then, uh, if we have time, then we go to the independent bookstore right across the street as well. It's called The King's English. Uh, so that h- has been a simple habit that takes up either [00:17:00] 15 minutes to of- sometimes 30 to 40 minutes a week, once a week, but most often it's 15 minutes.

I look forward to it every week. This is one of those stop and pause kind of habits that helped me feel more grounded in my life and feel like I, uh, am choosing it and that I was choosing it. I don't know how many times I have to say it was an intense year, very chaotic, overfilled, and I don't say that as a way to say it's worse than yours.

I'm saying this because I don't know a single woman who doesn't feel like her life , isn't busier than ever. Like, every woman I know, it's like I've never felt more time poor in my life, and I feel that way too. And this simple habit of connecting with my son, of taking a moment to embrace a m- a, a, a slowness of, of being present, of being still, of being...

of doing something out of the norm, of a, a little bit of indulgence [00:18:00] too. You know? It... Those pastries aren't the cheapest. You know? It's not, like, as cheap as going to our local grocery store and getting the, a similar kind of pastry. Not nearly as good either but, you know, that, that all just helped me feel like in all this chaos, here's a moment of calm, and sometimes it was just a literal moment.

Sometimes all we had time to do was grab a cookie and run into the appointment, and then we eat it on the way home. Uh, so I, I have enjoyed that so much, and I'm going to continue to do that in the future. So that actually wraps up the four habits. Self-compassion as a habit of the mind, getting ready for bed alongside my kids, and weekly planning, and a weekly cookie date with my youngest.

But now I wanna share two kind of bonuses. The next one is a new habit that I'm focusing on now, and this is a focus that was inspired by my recent trip to Italy. Um, I went on a female foodie tour, and I acted as the co-host of the tour. 24 women, most of whom come from our About Progress community, a few [00:19:00] were roommates of people who were members, are members of our community.

We came to Rome for eight days together, and of course, that trip inspired so much for me right now in my life and just came at the perfect time. , And I'm so grateful for it. I've, I've released a couple episodes on my private premium Ad-Free podcast, more personal about that, so make sure you go listen.

But our... we had a theme that week, and the theme was finding me, and I began the week by asking the women a question that I wanted them to ponder up until we had our workshop midweek, and the question was, "What of me is missing from my life? And they thought that through. And then we had an hour-long workshop where we really dug into that and , how to deeply sort through that and then come to a practical end of one small way they were going to reclaim their life as their own by prioritizing something that's missing from their life. And the answers were so beautiful, and so many of them happened to be habit-based. A lot about phone use [00:20:00] or, uh, reading or journaling or a weekly date night or playing games as a family.

Like, very simple, simple things, and that was the whole point. That's what we wanted. And as part of this focus on the trip, I made sure to check in with each woman and find out what thing they had been, uh, deciding to do, the one small way they were going to reclaim their life. And I needed to come up with mine too.

So mine is mommy and music time I, I think you know this in other , habits that are helping episodes. I've talked about playing the piano, um, as a way to really ground me even though I'm not especially good at it. I tend to make the same mistakes. I play the same songs over and over.

But I just find it a really grounding practice/habit, like a ritual too. And I prioritized that more in September as a hobby that I was working on that month, and that was nice. But I realized in doing that I want this to be more of a regular habit than like an occasional hobby. And I have done this before, and one of the things that [00:21:00] always gets in the way, an obstacle

So I'm kind of teaching you about habits here. Like, if you're trying to install a habit and it doesn't work over and over, it's not working consistently, it's not sticking around, there's typically an obstacle to it. And you have to kind of look at it objectively and think, "Well, what is the obstacle?" So when I thought through, "Well, why do I struggle playing the piano every early afternoon like I think I will and that I want to?"

Well, it's because it's me and my three-year-old at home alone together. No other kids around for him to play with or get distracted by. And he tends to want my attention while I'm playing the piano. And the way he does that is he tries to sit on my lap or play the piano or he actually ... His favorite thing to do is to turn off the lights on me.

And our piano's in the basement, and it's dark. And I even turn on the little piano lamp above the piano, and he comes over and he turns it off over and over and over and over and over. So I end up playing 30 seconds and giving up or not even playing at all because I think, "Oh, it won't even be possible because, uh, he makes it so hard to play."

Well, I realized as I was [00:22:00] thinking through that obstacle, well, if I want to lower the hurdle and make that habit easier, I've gotta work with the obstacle. And the obstacle is he needs my attention. So I decided after we're home from preschool and I have fed him lunch, we're gonna have mommy and music time.

We're gonna go in the basement, and I'm gonna read him some books or do some puzzles with him and/or and have that mommy time together. And then I'm going to say, "It's mommy's music time now." And I'm gonna let him dance or maybe I'll give him something to color. But I'm trying ... I'm gonna try to train him to have that connection time with me, which is lowering the hurdle to him wanting my attention, and then being able to play some music.

And my baseline can just be to even play one song. And if that's all I get to and it's every day, that's fine. And this, it doesn't have to happen every day too. This can be a few days a week. But I'm gonna shoot for more times than not after lunch we're heading down to the basement for mommy and music time.

So that's a habit that I am- [00:23:00] Going to be working on. And this is all tying into that bigger question that I asked the woman at the front of the Italy trip, "What of you is missing from your life?" And for me, it's I'm missing some, some music, art, culture, like that kind of soul side to me. And in just the pursuit of getting stuff done, I need that part of me back in my life, the w- the, the w- the thing that loves to prioritize the fine arts in some way, um, and in more regular ways.

Again, I'm not gonna become this amazing pianist that people are gonna come and want to see perform. It's not about that. It's just about bringing that part of me into an everyday kind of life. So ... And as part of that, there's a trickle-down effect of slowness and connection with my son, and being present, and taking a break.

Active rest, which is, you know, uh, rest, like laying down on the couch doesn't often work out for me. Uh, it's hard for me, but active rest really helps too. So anyway, uh, that's all folded into this new [00:24:00] habit that I'm gonna focus on, mommy and music time. And then I wanted to share one more thing that has helped that's not necessarily a habit, but has inspired some habits, just like the piano.

So I mentioned that September, my hobby that month is w- I wanted to play the piano. And I did more so that month, and that was an especially ... That was the hardest month of the year in terms of ... You know, when I talk about the craziness of 2026, that month in particular was the most crazy, um, thanks to the book launch and prep- preparing for the More for Moms conference all at once.

And it doesn't sound like it when I say it in a sentence like that, but i- it was almost insurmountable, um, what was on my plate, um, leading up to that month and through that month. Anyway, so that was a hobby, but it inspired a habit that I want to now have. So it's kind of tied together. Hobbits and

Habits and ... Habits and hobbies can be, you know, tied together. And I, I just want to make a little pitch here to [00:25:00] prioritize hobbies. And I'm really glad this year I really limited my goals and I limited my do something list this year. I did my best to be more realistic. But one of the things on my do something list was to embark on a my hobby year challenge, where every month I prioritize one hobby.

And I could go on and on about this, and I do in my more personal podcast. I, I do it, uh, uh, uh, uh, an episode each month on my hobby year. Uh, but I'll just say it has been It has taught me a lot. One, that hobbies don't have to be intense to matter. You don't have to do them as regularly for them to count.

Most of the time they're really simple. Sometimes they're intense, like the community play that I joined. But, uh, that piano was a simple one, and it really helped me that month. And I don't think I would have really known that about myself and better prioritized it more regularly as I intend to if I hadn't decided to make that the hobby.

So [00:26:00] more on that on More Personal, the private premium podcast. I'll also share a little bit more on the Messy Middle coming up later this week. But I just wanted to say I'm really glad that in spite of everything, I also tried to focus on one hobby a month, even if it didn't turn out as perfectly as I thought each month or wasn't able to give as much time or energy as I wanted, it still counted and it still helped.

So that's it for the habits that are helping. Now, to help you create your own habits that stick, ones that are supportive, that help you feel like yourself, that give you more of you in your day-to-day life, I highly encourage you to check out my book, Sticky Habits. It was released September 8th of this year.

The audiobook is out as well. And this is not the end of Sticky Habits. I have some wonderful things in store for you in January. We are going to be riding the January wave and doing habits, but in a different way than you've ever done habits before. So I want you to stay tuned for [00:27:00] that. And as a way to prepare for some of the free things I'm going to be doing with that, make sure you get the book, Sticky Habits, and/or the audiobook, which is out wherever you get yours, so you can buy it or borrow it today Also, this month is our 10-year anniversary of the podcast, About Progress, and I can hardly believe it really.

The last episode of this month is going to be a really special one. It's been quite a while since we've done a Dear Progresser episode where we fill an episode with real voices from real women in our community. We used to do this once a month, and even though we've grown quite a bit since we did this as a monthly feature, it has long been difficult to get those voice notes in.

Perhaps because people think, "Oh, there's so many," like, "Why would I need to?" Or, "Other people will," or, "I won't be good enough," or, "I may do it poorly." Or I don't know. There's probably a million reasons to not send in a voice note, but I would highly encourage you, and [00:28:00] indeed ask you, to please send in a voice note in honor of this 10-year anniversary.

I, I want to hear about how this podcast has helped you. I would love to even know what you do while you listen. Do you listen on a walk you go on every day or do you listen while you drive your kids around or while you cook or, like, what is it? Uh, Is there a particular podcast interview that you always think of or something that you learned or how has the podcast inspired change in your life?

What has it done for you? I would love to hear any to all of those things. Get on your phone, record a voice memo. Every phone has a voice memo app. Then you email me the file at [email protected]. And if you don't like doing that, I'm happy to read a message on your behalf, but I would really appreciate, extra appreciate hearing your voices.

So if you've been thinking about doing that, now is the time, and I highly encourage slash, slash beg you to do that. So send in a voice note in honor of our 10-year anniversary, and it will air the last episode of this month [00:29:00] finally, before we go, this podcast, if you can't believe 10 years of, of work, of passion, of community, it's time for you to leave a review to honor that.

We are also doing a Favorite Things giveaway. It's a rolling giveaway, so if you've been hearing me giving out prizes already, it's not too late. Uh, go to Apple Podcasts and leave a rating and review there, and I pull from those, uh, reviews and I'm giving out 10 of my favorite things this year, each with a copy of the book.

And then one lucky winner gets all 10 items plus a copy of the book too. Uh, I have linked in the show notes where you can check out what the favorite things are and also to see if you won. I put screenshots of the reviews that are won up there, and then it's really easy to claim your prize from there.

So leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, automatically entered to the Favorite Things giveaway, and be sure to check out the post to check in to see if you won. So much, so much. What a year. What a, a wild ride these last 10 years have been. I am so [00:30:00] grateful to you and for listening.

And I hope in hearing about my own habits, it's inspiring you to create habits that help for you as well. So thank you for listening, now go and do something with what you learned today

Welcome back. So I started, I started, I was gonna s- um, so I started saying... I started this episode by say- I started this episode by sharing that I was... Gosh. I started this episode by sharing that I was going to tell you about four habits,